Josh’s Journey
By Dragonwriter
Chapter Four-Making the Pieces Fit
Waking up in an
unfamiliar bed was a new experience for me. Those rare times I had actually
gone to bed with a guy I always went home afterwards.
This time though, it was different: I felt like I WAS home. Rising up on one
elbow, I looked around, it was still dark outside but there was a light on in
the hallway just outside the bedroom. I didn't remember it being on earlier, but
I had had other
things on my mind at the time.
A quick glance at
the clock on the bedside table told me it was
After getting the
coffee pot going, I returned to the bedroom and pulled on my jeans and shirt
from last night; then went outside to my car. The morning air was chilly on my
bare feet and chest but I wasn't noticing anything so
ordinary on such a fine morning! The gym bag I had forgotten to take in on
Monday was on the back seat, in it were jeans and a t-shirt and the clean socks
I hadn't put on Monday. Together with the underwear, Kel had washed
the day before, I was set for work. My work
boots were in the trunk, I would put them on at work. I carried the clothes
inside, let the canines in and went to the bathroom to shower and get dressed.
By the time I returned to the kitchen, Kel
was leaning against the cabinet by the stove drinking a cup of coffee and
reading the newspaper. He had on a pair of jeans, with a hole in the knee,
tightly belted around his narrow waist. His chest was bare and I swallowed at
the sight of the scars and washboard ribs again.
"Good
Morning," he said looking up.
"Good Morning
to you too, I didn't wake you, did I?" I kissed him softly.
"I am an
incredibly light sleeper," he answered. "Besides two large critters
bouncing around your room is not something easily slept through!"
I smiled, "No,
I guess not."
Kel put the paper down and
turned around to the cupboard behind his head and
opened it and pulled out a mug
that said 'Writers do it in between the lines' on the side. He poured me a cup.
"Don't fill it
all the way," I said. He looked at me enquiringly. "I like a LOT of
milk in my coffee, but no sugar."
Kel nodded and handed me the
mug. I got the milk out of the fridge.
"I suppose it
IS reasonable that one of the first things you learn about a lover is how they
like their coffee," he grinned. "Breakfast?"
I grimaced and
shook my head.
"I can't eat
in the morning; I never have. Mom says that even as a baby I wouldn't
nurse until I had been up for a couple of hours. Jem
is/was the same way as is Dad. It's
a Sanclere thing, Mom says. So what's on your docket
for today?" I asked watching him over the rim of the cup.
He shook his hair
back. "I have an appointment with my psychiatrist today. It's been a week
since I saw her."
My stomach clenched
at the word 'psychiatrist' but Kel seemed pretty casual about it. I guess that for him a psychiatrist
appointment was perfectly ordinary!
"That's this
afternoon," he went on, oblivious to my discomfort. "This morning I
better get onto the proofs of my new book. I don't want my editor to hunt me
down and stab me to death with her blue pencil." He grinned
his eyes dancing mischievously.
“But I really like
this psychiatrist. I have only been going to her for about a year now. She’s so
much easier to talk to than the last one.” He made a face. “I get the feeling
she’s really listening and caring about what I am sayi...Josh,
are you okay? You look a little green.” He grabbed my arm.
I looked up to the
ceiling and shook my head slightly.
“Sorry.” I said.
“I’m okay. I just felt a little lightheaded for a minute.”
Kel grinned. “Maybe you’re
pregnant.” I squeaked a protest. He laughed.
“It IS an awful lot
to take in all at once. Dr. Reicher is the 8th or 9th
psychiatrist I’ve been to in my life.” He sipped his coffee. “She’s young, cute
and I enjoy looking at her legs,” he grinned. “But she’s brilliant. Really
knows what she’s talking about and more importantly she 'connects' with me
unlike some I have dealt with. Lets me pace all over the
office while I talk. She dropped everything and came running when the
hospital called her to say I’d been admitted.”
“Tomorrow morning I
have to see my GP," he continued. "I know he’ll nag me about my
weight, my blood pressure, and my eating habits same story new day.”
“Your
blood pressure?”
I asked puzzled.
“It's chronically
low - dangerously low on occasion. Another reason I eat a lot of salty things
and being underweight aggravates it.”
I stared into my
cup. So many things - so many problems - could I handle them
all?
“I think I need to
discuss some of this with someone. Someone professional," I said softly.
Kel nodded. “I can understand
that. Let me talk to Dr. Reicher. Maybe she’d be
willing to talk with you or she can recommend someone.”
I set my mug down
on the counter and gathered Kel into my arms. He
wrapped his arms around my waist and laid his head against my chest.
“I can handle it, Kel, I know I can. But it would be so much easier if I knew
HOW to handle things ahead of time.” I made a face. “I don’t think I am
expressing myself very well this morning.”
“I understand,” Kel said against my chest. He looked up at me. “I will also
understand if you decide I am more trouble than I am worth."
"NO!" I
said sharply. "Don't say that!" I cradled his face in my hands. “Kel, you are the one I have been waiting my whole life for.
I know that sounds corny but I know you‘re the 'one'. I can feel it in my
bones.”
I kissed him, a
long, slow kiss. Kel leaned against me; I could feel
his heart beating. My hands stroked his back; squeezed his butt, what little
there was to squeeze. He squirmed and grinned at me.
I glanced at my
watch.
“Crud, I gotta be
going. Kel, do you mind if I leave
“I’m glad you
did." Kel smiled. "Nah, don’t worry about
I laughed and kissed him again, "Oh and do you have by chance a thermos I
can borrow. To carry coffee to work in. I forgot mine
and well, I didn't expect to need it." I finished lamely.
Kel grinned. He rummaged
through the kitchen cabinets. Finally, he found under the counter what he was
looking for: a brown plastic thermos. He gave it a quick cleaning and filled it
two thirds of the way with coffee, then handed it to me. I took it and poured
some milk in, screwed on the lid and kissed him again. I gave him hasty thanks
and ran out the door. On my way out, I told
"I don't even
have to ask if it worked," he said. "I can see it did!" He
pointed to his neck. I flushed and busied myself with putting on my boots. He
laughed. I stood up stamping my feet. He threw his arm around my shoulders and
we went in together.
I must have needed
the night before, because I worked more smoothly and quickly than I had for
several weeks: I was at the top of my game as the saying goes. Several guys noticed the hickey on my neck and whistled. A couple
teased me about losing a fight with the vacuum cleaner. I simply looked them up
and then down and told them well at least I cleaned, which made for more laughter.
Lunch was a burger
with Sam. He asked me about Kel and
what happened the night before, sparing of course the personal details dealing
with the acquisition of my hickey. I explained some about Kel's problems without going into too much depth, particularly
about his abusive childhood.
"Sounds like a
relationship that is going to take a lot of work, Josh," he said.
"Are you sure you're up to it?"
"Yes,” I said.
“I know it's going to take work, I've never been afraid of work. I grew up
getting up at dawn and shoveling manure and feeding 100 horses before school,
not by myself, of course. What's a little mental illness against an, umm,"
I grinned. "A crapload of
horse manure?"
Sam roared.
"Long as you keep your sense of humor, boyo."
Sam's face suddenly
became very solemn. He looked at me closely and started talking, his voice soft
and paternal.
"But
seriously, I know absolutely NOTHING about mental illness, but I do know that
this is one situation where you HAVE got to be totally committed." I
started to speak but he held his hand up. "I know you've slept with him
and your hormones are goin' nuts, but if you aren't
ready to make a total commitment kiss him and say goodbye."
I blushed and
looked at the table. After a minute, I looked up. "Thanks Sam. You sound
like my Mom. I hear you, and I have thought a lot, about what you just said. I
AM willing to commit to Kel. He's the 'one'; I know
it, I can feel it."
Sam nodded. I went
on speaking, feeling some of the tension in me flow out. It felt so good to
confide in someone.
"Nothing worth
having is easy to acquire, Dad says," I went on, "And maybe deep
inside me I 'need' to be needed by someone. Mom says I am a born nurturer;
maybe I need Kel as much as he needs me. I admit I'm
afraid, but I think I'm more afraid of being without him than of what might
happen being with him."
Sam reached over
and squeezed my shoulder. "You're an amazing kid, Josh. I don't think I
could have been so responsible at your age."
"Thanks,
Sam."
We finished eating
and returned to work. The rest of the afternoon passed smoothly and by quitting
time I was eager to get back to Kel.
I hurriedly cleaned up my area, stowed my equipment and clocked out. However,
when I got out to my car, Mitch was leaning against it.
Mitch! What are you
doing here?" I asked surprised.
"Checking
up on you.
What did you expect: you didn't come home last night?" He answered.
"I was worried."
"I left a note
telling you, I was going to Kel's. It had his number
on it. You could have called there."
"I've tried!
ALL DAMNED MORNING I HAVE TRIED!" He shouted. "But there's no
answer."
"I'm sorry,
Mitch. Kel probably didn't hear it this morning and
he had an appointment this afternoon." I tried to hug Mitch, but he
shrugged me off. "Mitch, don't. How many times do you go off and not come
home?"
"That's
different," he said.
"Oh?" I
said. "How so? Because you're
a bad boy, and that's what bad boys do? Or is it just okay when you do it, but
I am expected to always be there waiting for
you!" I was almost yelling now.
"Josh, you're
supposed to be my best friend, but you're never around anymore!"
"I have a job;
we're not children anymore, Mitch. And I have a lover now." His eyes
focused on my neck and he scowled.
"So I see.
Jeez, Josh," he turned and stomped off up the street.
I started to follow
but decided the heck with it. I'd deal with him when
he sobered up and calmed down. My shoulders sagged in frustration and I felt really low.
"Cripes, Josh.
Is this going to be a daily thing?" I t heard one of my coworkers behind
me say, "'Cause if it is I need to start bringing popcorn." He
grinned. I opened my mouth to yell at him but his face was so innocent looking
that I burst out laughing.
"Tell you what
Manny, the way it's looking, you sell that popcorn and we'll both be rich!"
He laughed and slapped me on the shoulder before walking on up the street to
his car.
"Think he'll
be okay, Josh?" Sam asked.
"Yeah, he'll
calm down and be all apologies. I probably should have called him last night. I
ummm, didn't think about it."
Sam chuckled.
"All right then. See you in the mornin. Call if
you need me."
"Thanks
Sam."
I drove slowly up
the street looking for Mitch but he was nowhere to be seen.
I suspected someone had been waiting for him. Sighing, I turned toward Kel's house. As I drove, I thought some more about all that
I had learned so far from Kel. I was certain there
was more, but what he had told me so far must have required a great deal of
trust on his part. I would have to prove myself for whatever else there was to
tell.
I thought about Kel. The way his luscious mouth curled up into a smile, his
eyes that seemed to glow when he was excited and his pretty face, especially
when that face was close to mine. That way he had of moving, like he had joints
where the rest of us have straight bones. And, most
importantly, how warm and alive he felt in my arms.
Alive, I shuddered,
thinking about how close we had come to missing each other. I thought some more
about what Sam and I had been discussing earlier. I DID need Kel. I wanted or maybe needed to be the thing he leaned on,
the person he counted on to love him in spite of everything, the person to make
everything all right. "A fairy tale," I thought with a snort of
laughter.
The way to Kel's had become almost as familiar to me as the way to my
own apartment. I pulled into the driveway with that 'put my feet up and veg all night' feeling. I was home. It wasn't
quite the ready-to-pack-up-my-stuff-and-move-in feeling but the at-home feeling
you get at a best friend's house. I walked up to the house and opened the door
cautiously. There was no movement inside. I walked back to the kitchen. No one
was there and I could see no one in the backyard. I checked Kel's
room; it was empty, but much cleaner than I remembered it. The bathroom was also
empty. Irrationally, I was starting to panic. Where was Kel?
Where was
I bolted for the
stairs and went down them in three leaps. Tova burst
out of Kel's den growling: his teeth bared and for a
moment, I thought he was going to attack. I backed up to the bottom step.
However, he must have caught my scent because he stopped growling and wagged
his tail.
Kel appeared in the doorway: a
pencil in one hand and sheet of paper in the other.
He looked at me
puzzled.
“Josh, what on
Earth? Did you fall down the stairs?”
“No,” I answered.
“I jumped down them.”
“Why, or is that
one of your little quirks I will just have to get used to?” He grinned at me. I
wrapped my arms around him. “Hey! Watch the paper; that’s money there.”
He twisted his arms
loose and wrapped them around my neck. I buried my face in his hair, barely
noticing that it had been cut and wasn’t quite as wild
as usual.
“I’m an idiot.” I
murmured into his hair. “I couldn’t find you upstairs and I forgot that you said
you spend most of your time down here. I panicked... I was afraid...” I
swallowed.
Kel stroked my hair. “Afraid of what?”
I raised my head
and looked at him. “I don’t know. I was just afraid, and the dogs and I’m
stupid.”
“Nah, you’re not
stupid.” Kel tucked his pencil into his jeans pocket.
He laid his hand on my cheek. “You’re just new to a situation that has a lot of
uncertainty in it. And in a weird sort of way, I am flattered that you got that
upset so fast.”
My hands stroked
his back. Kel grasped my head and pulled it up to his
lips. We kissed: a long passionate kiss. Kel’s tongue flicked lightly across my lips and I opened my
mouth letting him in. His tongue wrapped around my tongue, caressing my tongue
with his. I moaned and pulled him deeper into my mouth. He let go of my tongue
and nibbled on my lower lip. My lips slid along his jaw, my tongue teasing the
tender skin. Kel shivered.
“Josh,” he
whispered.
I ran my hands up
his arms and neck to cradle his head. Then buried my head in the curve of his
neck: exploring with lips, teeth and tongue. Kel
flinched. My eyes opened and my head yanked backwards. His left shoulder had
several blue bruises across it.
“HOLY!” I yelled.
“Where the hell did those come from?"
I yanked his shirt
over his head. I dropped the shirt and knotted my hands into fists. Kel grabbed my hands.
“JOSH!” He held my
fists between his two hands. “Josh, please. Stop. I had forgotten about them.”
“Forgot!”
Kel nodded. He let go of my hands and reached up to
grab my head. He pulled my head down to his shoulder. I pulled him close to me.
“Josh,
my beautiful avenging angel.” He kissed my cheek. “You did it.”
I jerked upright. “I NEVER!” I yelled.
Kel flinched again. There were
tears in his eyes.
“Last night you
did. I asked Dr Reicher what she thought. Her feeling
is that since I am so thin there wasn’t enough padding
when you grabbed me during sex last night. It left bruises - this morning when
you left, they weren’t visible yet. By the time I started
to get ready to go to the doctor’s I could see them.”
His lower lip
trembled. There were tears streaming down his face.
“Josh. Please, don’t yell. It scares me. I have the urge to run away when I
hear yelling. It‘s one of the remnants of my childhood.”
“God,” I moaned.
I dropped to my
knees; wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head against his chest. I
could feel his ribs and his soft chest hair against my cheek and hear his heart
pounding. Tears ran down my cheeks smearing against his skin. He ran his
fingers through my thick hair.
“Kel,” I whispered.
“Shhh,” he answered. He tucked the hair behind my ear; his
finger traced the outside of my ear. “You didn’t mean to, Josh, that’s the
thing. I have taken a lot of bruises in my life but
you didn’t mean to do it. Dr. Reicher thinks I should
check with Dr Gower, my GP and make sure I am not vitamin deficient or have
some kind of problem that would make me bruise easily.”
"I promised
you I would never hurt you - never let anyone else hurt you. Kel."
"You didn't
hurt me; I hadn't really noticed them until now. I'm okay, Josh." He
stroked my hair some more. "I am not a porcelain doll, Josh. I won't break or come apart at the seams from a couple of
bruises. If that were true I'd have broken apart years ago."
I lurched to my
feet. “I gotta go. I can’t stay… I can’t
think… I need to think.” I turned and stumbled up the stairs to the front door,
“Josh!” I heard Kel shout behind me.
Yanking the door
open, I stumbled down the stairs,
I am a physical
activity kind of guy. When I get upset
I do things. Now I ran and as I ran, I thought. I thought about Kel. How could I have hurt him? I had promised him that NO
one would ever hurt him, including me. I ran until my feet started to hurt.
Then I ran some more. Maybe if I could have run to
Was I trying to
punish myself? To make myself hurt: I didn't know. I
did know one thing; I wasn't running away from Kel. I'd never do that. So much
evil had been done to Kel
already in his life: by his father, by other lovers and by the demons in his
own head. How could I have added to it? Why couldn't I
have been gentler?
"I am not a
porcelain doll, Josh. I won't break or come apart at
the seams from a couple of bruises. If that were true I'd have broken apart
years ago," echoed through my head.
"I won't
break…”
"I've taken a
lot of bruises in my life…”
"You didn't
mean to… you didn’t mean to... didn't mean..."
My head was
ringing. Fear, anger and frustration rolled through me in succeeding waves. I
panted for breath, my feet burned each time they hit the ground. There was a
convenience store on the corner with a small triangle of grass out front. I
stepped onto the grass cool, soothing relief flooding through my feet. I leaned
forward, my hands on my knees.
“This isn’t about
ME,” I thought, the pain in my feet sharpening my focus. “It's about Kel.”
With that insight my mind cleared: it was pure arrogance on my part to
think I was so perfect that I would never hurt Kel.
That I would be the ONE person who never scared him, who never bruised his
delicate body, who always acted completely perfect! I
was angry with myself. Angry for hurting him but angrier for all the yelling I
had done. I had scared him, and that hurt was far worse, perhaps, than physical
hurt. I had always been the protector, the nurturer, the big brother, but now I
wanted to be a partner, an equal in the relationship. I would always be Kel’s protector, even his shield if he wished it of me.
However, more importantly I wanted to be his soul mate.
“He's the 'one', I
know it. I can feel it," I had told Sam. I still meant it and if anything,
I meant it even more now.
I stood up
unsteadily and looked around. I had no idea where I was or how to get back to Kel’s place. I hobbled up to the convenience store,
“Here, this will
work better.” I looked up surprised. The woman from inside was standing in the
doorway. She handed me one of those cardboard boats for hot dogs. She was good
looking blonde with a generous mouth turned up in an easy smile.
“I don’t think it
will leak too much before she drinks all the water,” she said. “Your dog is a
she?”
I nodded,
"Yes."
“She’s a beauty.”
The woman stepped outside and looked us over. What did she see: a tall, Indian
male, about her own age, in a ragged pair of jeans and a t-shirt with a rip
across the belly and a shiny golden retriever?
You’re bleeding!”
She gasped. I looked down. My right foot had left a bloody footprint on the
sidewalk. She ran back inside and returned a minute later with a roll of paper
towels and a mug of water. She ripped off several towels and handed them to me.
I pressed them against my foot. She cleaned the blood off the sidewalk.
“I can do that,” I
said, taking the towels from her. “I must have stepped on something. I‘ll call
and get a ride home.”
I finished cleaning
up the blood and made sure everything was in the garbage.
“Thank you.” I said
to the woman, who smiled at me. “I appreciate your help.”
“I guess since I
don’t know the way back, I better call Kel and have
him come get me.”
She asked what his
address was and I told her. I told her I had been out running and got lost. She
stared at me in shock.
“WOW! That’s over five miles away and you ran it? No wonder your
feet are raw. Running barefoot?”
I looked away. “We
had an argument, Kel and I.” I shrugged. “Thank you
again for your help.” The woman nodded silently.
I hobbled across
the parking lot to the pay phone and dialed Kel’s
number. He picked up on the first ring.
“Josh!?” He sounded liked he’d been
crying.
“Kel, I… I…“ I swallowed and
started again. “Kel, I’m lost.”
“No, you’re just
trying to be a man in a very difficult situation,” he said softly.
“Yes,” I paused. “Kel, I AM lost: literally. I don’t know how to get back to
your house.”
A staccato of laughter rolled through the phone, “Okay, tell me where you are.”
I told him. “Not the best neighborhood. How did you end up there?”
“I ran,” I said. “Kel, my foot is bleeding.”
“I’ll be there in a
few minutes,” he answered.
I hung up the phone
and sat on the grass by it. I was anxious to see Kel,
to talk to him, to tell him what I had decided about myself and about him. It wasn’t very long before a silver 1969 Cougar pulled into the
lot and rolled to a stop in front of me. Kel bounded
out of the driver’s seat and ran the three or four feet to me.
“Josh,” he said. I
wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head against his chest. His heart
was pounding frantically. “Come on. Get in the car; I have a first aid kit in
there.”
“Wait,” I said
softly. Kel looked puzzled. “I thought a lot as I ran
and I realize that it is pure arrogance to think that I'll never hurt you.
Accidents happen, things get said in the heat of anger,” I paused and took a
deep breath. “But I promise to do my damnedest to never hurt you.”
“Thank you,” he
said squeezing my shoulders.
Kel helped me up and wrapped
his arm around my waist. I leaned on him and limped around to the other side of
the car.
“When’s the last
time you had a tetanus shot?” He asked.
“Last year, when I
cut my thumb at work,” I replied.
“You should be okay
then.”
I handed him the
end of the water in my bottle. He poured it on a gauze pad and washed my foot.
I flinched in pain and Kel made a soft soothing
noise. He cleaned my foot and smeared some antibiotic cream on it. Kel’s hands were gentle and loving as he wrapped my foot in
gauze; then slid a sock over the bandage. He moved on to the other foot.
I glanced up at the
convenience store. The woman was standing in the doorway; I smiled and waved.
She smiled and waved back. My left hand rested on Kel’s
shoulder kneading it softly. Kel finished my foot and
straightened up. He studied me intently.
“You didn’t need to
go out and rip yourself to pieces just to punish yourself.”
I swallowed and
nodded. Kel cradled my head in his hands and kissed
me.
“But I appreciate
the effort anyway,” he whispered with a mischievous grin and I chuckled.
I twisted around
into the car and Kel shut the door.
“Good thing you
didn’t park in front the garage or your lady would have had to run back home.
You must have the keys to your car with you,” he said. I nodded: they were in
my pocket.
“I’ll get a key
made for you tomorrow.”
Kel got out of the car and came
around to help me out. I tilted the seat back forward and let
“He missed her,” Kel said softly as he helped me out of the car. “He would
run to the front windows, then back to me, then to the windows.”
“I’m sorry,” I
said.
Kel shrugged, “You needed to
think… I can understand that.”
"No," I
said. "I was wrong; I hurt you far worse yelling at you. I promised not to
hurt you and I might just as well have smacked you physically. I didn't grasp that. There is pain and there is the kind of
pain I inflicted on you from yelling. I will remember it."
Kel hugged me. "Josh, I'll
help you understand. I want you here with me so bad!"
I leaned on him and
we walked into the house, each step sending shockwaves of pain through my feet
and up my calves. Inside on the carpet it was a lot less painful to walk. I
sighed and hugged Kel closer to me. He steered me
down the hall. I had to make a detour into the bathroom, but I was so glad to
sink down onto the bed. I was tired and sore; my eyes shut of their own will. Kel kissed my forehead and I was asleep.
I awoke to the feeling
of a warm body snuggling down beside me. It was dark outside the windows. I sat
up abruptly.
"Shh," a hand was on my arm. "Lie down. Unless you’re hungry?"
The light in the
hallway was on again. I looked down waiting for my eyes to adjust to the half-light.
Kel was lying on his side beside me; it was his hand
lying on my arm. I slid back down in the bed and pulled him into my arms. He
snuggled up and put his arm around my neck. I could feel his fingers combing my
hair.
“You’re very lucky,
you know,” he said softly.
“Yes, I am. I have
you,” I answered.
Kel chuckled, “I called Sam.”
“HOW?” I said in surprise.
Kel rolled his eyes, “Jeez
Josh, telepathy. How do you think? I called Mitch and asked for the number.”
“Mitch? Crap, he
was mad at me.”
“So I gathered. I apologized to him for not answering the phone earlier. I had
it turned off downstairs so I could work. He says to call him tomorrow. He’s
feeling rotten about the scene he made today.”
I caressed Kel’s back. “Okay.”
“Mitch gave me
Sam’s number. I called him and had a long chat with him.” I groaned and Kel laughed. “He cares a lot about you. He was on his way
out here, but I told him you were asleep. I would expect him here tomorrow
though. He's going to call your chief and get you off
work the rest of this week. ”
I started to
protest but Kel put his fingers on my mouth. His
fingers so close were suddenly exciting and I was getting hard.
“Oh hush, you can’t
stand all day on those feet. Sam thinks you need to go to a doctor and so do I.
And don‘t say you can‘t afford it because I CAN.”
“Yes, Mama,” I said
meekly.
Kel laughed low and sensual. I
opened my mouth and sucked in his fingertips. I flicked my tongue across them
and sucked them fiercely. Kel shuddered and moaned.
“Josh... your feet… Ahhh!” He moaned.
I tried to talk
with his fingers in my mouth. It came out “Ib moof oo
ah urk nof mf coff” We both laughed. I pulled him closer and rolled onto
my back. Kel planted both his palms on my shoulders
and sat up.
“Once more in
English, please.” He grinned at me.
“I said ‘its my feet who were hurt not my cock’.” I pulled his head
down to my mouth.
Kel’s lips were soft, warm, and
sweet as honey. I nibbled his lower lip, then his upper one. He opened his
mouth and I ran my tongue across the inner side of his lips. Kel moaned softly into my mouth. I pushed past his teeth,
his incisors sending out little frissons of pleasure as they scraped across my
tongue. The twin sensations of soft and hard were making me terribly excited.
His tongue wrapped around mine: coiling, twisting, caressing. I twisted my head
and pushed deeper into his mouth. I wanted to fall into him.
I stroked his back,
working his shirt up and off. His bony back with the criss-crossed
scars felt so incredibly fragile under my fingers. I stroked my fingers up and
down barely touching the skin. Goosebumps erupted under my fingers. Kel squirmed and moaned. He pushed deeper into my mouth. I
pulled his head closer, holding him secure for a minute before going back to
teasing his back.
I rolled Kel over onto his back, careful to support my weight. He
lay still looking up at me with his eyes glowing and his lips slightly parted.
He reached up and tucked my hair behind my ears. I twisted my head and kissed
him on the wrist. I ran the tip of my tongue along the edges of the ugly red
scars. Kel whimpered.
“Josh.”
“Shh, its part of you. It's you I want,
you I love. All of you.”
Tears sprang up in Kel’s eyes. I leaned down and wiped them away with the tip
of my tongue. Softly I dropped light kisses across his cheek to his neck, then
down his neck to the hollow of his collarbone. I brushed my tongue lightly
across the bruises. I couldn’t promise never to leave
bruises but I would try my damndest never to do it
again! Kel made a strangled noise deep in his throat.
I ran my tongue along his collarbone and sucked on his shoulder joint. He
groaned and his hand tightened in my hair. He pulled my head back to his mouth.
For a long time, I
drowned in the sensations of his tongue on mine. All I knew
was his mouth; all I felt was his mouth. However, gradually I became
aware of his hard cock pressing on my hip. I raised my head and body. Kel pulled my t-shirt over my head. He ran his hands down
over my chest and belly. My head fell back and I groaned in pleasure. Kel pinched my nipples and my body exploded in pleasure. He
pulled me down and his mouth attached to one. My body shuddered, fire roaring
out to every corner.
“Kel,” I groaned.
Kel sucked first one then the
other nipple: fire and ice raced through my body. I shook and groaned. His legs
wrapped around my waist. I cried out. My arms shook. I pulled back and my
nipple slid out of Kel’s mouth, his teeth nearly
pushing me over the edge.
“Ohh God, you keep that up and I’ll cum,” I groaned. Kel grinned at me and licked his lips.
I buried my face in
his hair; it was so soft and fresh smelling. I kissed and licked all the way
down his neck. I ran my tongue across his upper ribs and down through the soft
hair to his nipples, teasing first one then the other. He groaned and thrashed
under me, his hands clenching and unclenching on my shoulders. He moaned and
whispered my name.
I tickled his abs
and ribs with my tongue. Kel squirmed. At his pyjama bottoms, I stopped and looked up. Kel’s eyes were half closed. He was breathing softly
through his mouth, his chest raising and falling in rhythm. I leaned back down
and ran my nose lightly across the skin above his waistband. He moaned. I
twisted my tongue around a soft curl of pubic hair and pulled it gently. His
hips jerked in pleasure. I sat up and slipped my hands under the elastic
waistband. He raised his butt and seemed to almost glide
out of the pyjama bottoms. I held them up and looked
at them.
“Mickey Mouse?” I
asked with a raised eyebrow.
Kel grinned. “Christmas
from my step brother, Kevin.”
I laughed and
dropped them on the floor. Leaning back down, I kept eye contact with Kel, even as my mouth covered his cock; I kept eye contact
with him. I slid up and down on his cock. He thrashed under me; his back arched
and he cried out. His bony hips slammed into my head as I worked his cock with
my tongue. He whimpered and cried, his body twisting and thrashing under mine.
I straightened up
and slid off the bed. My feet throbbed and I winced. Kel
started to get up but I waved him back. Carefully I worked my way out of my
jeans. Kel eyed my stiff cock and licked his lips. I
crawled back up the bed and across Kel until I was
straddling his chest my cock tapping his lips. Panic flickered in his eyes for
a moment. Then he smiled and his hands slid up my thighs. I leaned forward and
gripped the headboard. My cock slid down his throat. I gasped as shockwaves
rolled out from my groin: up my back and down my legs.
I slammed my cock
down his throat, harder and harder. Kel’s mouth was
absolute paradise, hot and slippery. And he had a grip
that could have taken paint off a wall! I slammed into his mouth in long swift
strokes.
“Oh Kel… ahhhnnn… Kel. KEL!”
My head exploded. I slammed my hips into his face as my cock exploded thick
cream down his throat.
I slid back down
and kissed him: a long deep kiss that got me hard
again.
I sat up and
retrieved the tube of lube off the bedside table. Kel’s
eyes glittered at me. I lifted his leg and positioned myself between them. His
pretty cock was drooling like a fountain. I fisted it slowly. Kel thrashed and cried out.
“Josh,” he moaned.
I smeared lube on
my fingers. Kel lifted his butt. I pulled a pillow
down and tucked it under his butt. Gently I worked first one then another finger
into his hole. He moaned and twisted, his hips pushing down harder onto my
fingers. I murmured softly and worked a third finger in. Kel’s
cock jerked. I leaned over and cleaned the precum off
his belly and hips. He moaned and cried out, his fingers twisting in my hair.
Moving closer, I pulled my fingers out of his hole and positioned my cock
against it.
“You want this, Kel?” I asked. “Do you want me inside you?”
“Yes,” he sobbed.
“Oh yes, please Josh.”
I dropped my palms
flat on the bed on either side of his head and pushed. My cock slid into him.
Fire ripped down my back and I cried out. Kel wrapped
his legs around my waist and for a moment, I couldn’t
do anything but shake. I started moving: a slow even stroke, deep into him then
almost all the way out. He cried and babbled my name. Kel’s
hands gripped my upper arms; I could feel the nails biting in. Faster and
faster, I stroked slamming deeper and deeper into him.
I sat up and pulled
his hips closer. I was inside Kel, inside the man I’d die for. He clenched his butt muscles
sending sparks of pleasure up my cock. I groaned and slammed him back on
me harder and harder.
My leg cramped and
I fell forward with a howl. My arms wrapped around Kel
and I rolled over onto my back pulling him up on top of me. Surprisingly I
remained inside him. The cramp went away and I continued pumping into Kel. He bounced looking oddly like a scarecrow for a moment
then he leaned forward and our mouths met in a soul-wrenching kiss.
“Kel. Kel. Kel,” I moaned into his mouth.
I rolled over
again: pounding harder and harder, deeper and deeper. Kel
grunted and moaned. He tangled his hands in my hair and pulled my head down;
our lips and tongues entwined. My focus narrowed to Kel,
the feel of his hands on my shoulders; the feel of his mouth on mine, and the
body shredding feeling of being inside him.
I jerked and
slammed deep into him. He cried out his back arching. His cock exploded
flooding his belly with thick cream. I slammed in one more time sliding
smoothly across his belly on the cream. My head fell back and I cried out his
name as I filled his insides with my own cream. After a minute, I dropped down
on him. He grunted and I shifted my weight. Blindly I found his lips. Cradling
his head in my hands, I devoured his mouth.
“God Kel,” I panted. “Kel, my Kel, my treasure.”
Kel sighed and held my head
close.
“Josh, my beautiful
avenging angel,” he whispered.
I held him close. I
never wanted to let go of him, but the truth was I had to piss. Kel grinned when I told him and slid out of bed. He pulled
me up. By the time I returned from the bathroom, Kel was dressed in the pajama bottoms again. I held him
tight.
"Why
the jammies?" I asked softly.
I can't sleep without something on. Its - protection.” he
paused, eyes down studying the floor intently. “A barrier between me and
possibly unwanted attention," I tipped his chin up. "Not unwanted
from you, of course. But there are still nights when the past isn't very far
away to me."
I shivered. If I
ever got my hands on that man, he'd regret the day he
touched Kel!
“All right," I
said softly. "Let's go to bed. My feet hurt."
He looked worried.
I smiled and crawled into the bed. Kel climbed in
beside me and snuggled down into my arms. I wrapped the comforter around us
again. I never wanted to leave this feeling of peace. This
place I belonged.
Revised