Josh's Journey

By Dragonwriter

Chapter Six-Welcome to the Family

Sunday morning I woke up late. Kel had wanted to celebrate our one-week anniversary, but neither of us had wanted to go out. My feet were too tender to go to the club so we rented some videos and stayed up late Saturday night eating chips and salsa, watching videos, and making love on the TV room floor. Sometime around 2 am, we had stumbled upstairs and into bed. I think we rolled around there making furious love as well, but my memory was a bit blurred as far as which time was where!

It was about 10 am when I woke up. I was alone in the middle of the bed. The sun was flooding through the windows half blinding me. Crystal came over and stuck her nose in my face when she heard me moving around. I scratched her ears and chin.

"Where's your guy?" I asked. "And while we're on the topic, where's mine?"

I slid out of bed and winced when my right foot landed a little too hard on the floor. My clothes from last night were most likely still on the TV room floor, but a pair of my jeans was lying on the top of the laundry heap by the closet. I pulled them on and buttoned the fly as I limped to the door. I smelled coffee and the tantalizing smell of food wafting down the hallway. Oddly enough, I felt hungry this morning.

Kel was in the kitchen. Jazz music was coming from the boom box on the bar. Crystal ran to Tova and nosed him and he licked her. She licked him back, and then went to check out the food bowls. Kel turned from the stove.

“Good Morning!” He said waving a pancake turner. I dodged the pancake turner and kissed him.

“Careful with that thing,” I said. “You could take a guy’s nose off.”

Kel grinned and put the pancake turner on the counter so he could wrap his arms around my neck. I pulled him tight against me, burying my face in his hair. He sighed as I kissed his neck. He smelled of coffee and shampoo. Raising my head, I studied his face. The soft, rounded contours, bright green eyes and full, sweet lips were enough to make me want to drag him back down the hall to the bedroom. However, I opted instead for another kiss.

“Mmmm, I could get used to having a half naked man in my kitchen on a Sunday morning,” he said tucking my hair behind my ears. I grinned at him.

"Is that an invitation to move in?" I teased.

"Maybe," he said ducking his head. Kel stepped back and I let go of him.

He turned to the stove and moved the frying pan off the burner. He moved so gracefully, almost flowing. His jeans rode low on his hips showing a strip of elastic. In this light, I could really see the scars on his back. My stomach knotted watching him move, the scars appeared animated by the pull of his muscles. I lightly brushed my fingers across his back tracing the lines. He shivered and sighed in pleasure. The bruises on his shoulder had faded and I wished the scars could do the same. I kissed his shoulder. My hands slid lightly up his sides and across his pecs. His nipples were hard. I brushed them with my thumbs. Kel hissed softly. I chuckled and wrapped my arms around his waist.

“Want some scrambled eggs?” Kel asked. “They have onions, mushrooms, ham and bacon in them. I made enough for an army, I think.”

“Yumm,” I answered.

Kel reached up into the cupboard, his hair brushing my bare chest, and brought down a couple of plates. The plates clattered pleasantly as he set them on the counter reminding me of many meals back home. I stepped back enough for him to move but didn't let go of him.

I reached for a coffee mug in the cupboard, one arm still around his waist then kissed Kel again as I reached for the coffee pot. Reluctantly I let go of him. I didn't want to accidentally burn either of us since he was on my left side and I didn't trust my right hand to pour a full coffee pot. I took a deep breath of the rich aroma rising out of the mug. Somehow, coffee just seemed so much better smelling at Kel's.

Kel handed me a plate piled high with eggs. I carried it and my coffee mug to the table. Kel joined me carrying his plate, coffee mug and enough silverware for us both. I helped him set the things down. He went to the fridge and returned with a bottle of his salsa and the milk. I smiled and thanked him before adding milk to my coffee.

"I don't know if you Canadians put salsa on your eggs, but I do," he said with a wink.

I reached for the bottle, "So does this Canadian!"

Kel grinned. Together we ate eggs smothered in salsa and drank coffee, enjoying each other’s company.

“I have to go to my apartment to get Xan’s present,” I said after a while.

"Okay," he mumbled through a mouthful of egg. He swallowed. "The party's when?"

"Four," I said. "So I guess we should leave here by three. That should give us plenty of time."

"More like one, considering what happened last time we went to your apartment," Kel leered at me. I pretended to ignore him. Kel continued, "Anyway that should give me time to get some work done. If you don't mind."

"Of course not," I said. "I will read a book. Clean out my car. Or something." I grinned.

After eating and cleaning up, Kel finished dressing and then went downstairs to work for a couple of hours. I went out to clean out my car. Crystal came out with me, which aggravated Tova greatly. I checked the garage and found a dog chain coiled up and hanging on a hook. It wasn’t very long, maybe ten feet, but it would be long enough for Tova to be out with us. I looped the chain around one of the porch pillars, said a short fervent prayer that the pillar was stronger than the wolf, brought Tova out and hooked him to the other end. He was not pleased that he couldn’t run but Crystal smothered him in affection and he calmed down.

I opened the car doors and turned on the engine so I could safely run the radio. My back seat was buried under a pile of sweaty work clothes that needed washing at least a week ago! I carried them inside and downstairs to the laundry room. Glancing in the den as I passed by, I saw Kel slouched down in his chair with his feet up on the desk, reading a pile of papers resting in his lap. He was sucking on the non-pointed end of a pencil. I wondered if there was an eraser in his mouth then decided I probably didn't want to know if there was or not. I smiled and went back upstairs.

I found a box of kitchen sized trash bags under the kitchen sink. By the time I had cleaned my car of all the Jack in the Box wrappers, soda cups and other fast food debris, plus envelopes and junk mail tossed in the back seat and on the rear floor, the bag was nearly full. I carried it around the side of the garage and stuffed it in the trashcan.

There was a small pile of receipts and bank statements on the seat. I folded them in half and tucked them into the glove box. Crystal climbed in the back seat and looked at me as if to say “Well? Let's get moving!” I laughed and scratched her on the head.

“Go on. Get out,” I said gesturing to her; she jumped out. I had the feeling looking at her that she was laughing at me. Under the passenger seat I found her tennis ball, I whistled to her and threw it across the lawn. She took off like a shot following the ball. Tova strained at his chain and howled in frustration. Crystal brought the ball back. I took the ball and threw it again. Tova howled again.

I shut the car off and closed the doors, pocketing the keys. Crystal brought the ball back, begging me to throw it again. I ruffled her ears and walked to the house carrying her ball. She ran alongside of me jumping and barking. I caught Tova by the collar and unhooked the chain. He leaped toward Crystal and nearly pulled me over. How Kel managed not to be dragged along behind him like a broken leash, I couldn’t imagine but somehow, I wrestled both canines inside and got the door shut.

Crystal and Tova both jumped and barked, begging me to continue to play with them. I was worried that the noise would bother Kel and tried to shush them. Which did no good, they just barked louder. However, a romp did sound fun. I held the ball up out of their reach and walked to the patio doors. The canines beat me there, barking in excitement. As soon as I opened the door, they shot out into the yard, barking and leaping. The rabbits in their cages scurried around nervously. Kel had built or had someone else build a partition across the patio to keep Tova away from the cages.

I threw the ball out into the yard and the two canines took after it. Kel’s yard is wide left to right when standing on the patio but narrow between the house and back fence. There was a large patch of weedy ground on the right where Kel’s parents had had a garden when he was young. Along the back fence were hedges and trees and somewhere in the mess was a gate to the neighboring property. Kel had told me that was the way he’d escape his father for a while, going to Mrs. Witsky’s house for peace and quiet. The patio, where I was standing, was higher than the rest of the yard; I stepped down the two steps into the yard.

Crystal and Tova barreled into me in their excitement. I wobbled but somehow managed to stay upright. Crystal leaped up on me licking my face; I laughed and wrestled her to the ground. Tova growled and Crystal barked at him. Was she telling him not to be such a party pooper, I wondered. He nosed me and I scratched his chin.

Pretty soon, I was rolling around the yard wrestling with both canines. I jumped to my feet bouncing side to side, being careful to not land too hard on my right foot. Crystal leaped back and forth, and then took off running across the yard. She stopped dropping into a crouch. I stalked toward her. She leaped up and ran around me in circles. Tova watched for a few minutes then took off running, mimicking Crystal. It didn’t matter which way I spun there was either a dog or a wolf ready to jump. I feinted left and jumped right. Crystal leaped to the left. She landed behind me. I was watching Tova when suddenly something hit me in the knees. I went down in a heap and was immediately piled on by canines, licking my face and beating me with dancing paws and wagging tails.

Laughter floated across the yard. I turned my head and could just see around a set of furry legs, a pair of jeans clad legs approaching. There was more laughter and the canines were pushed aside. Kel's face hovered above me.

"Having fun?" He asked with a silly lopsided grin.

"Absolutely," I answered offering him my hand. Instead of letting him pull me up, I pulled him down on top of me. Kel shrieked in surprise and put his hands out to brace himself. I wasn't going to let him get hurt though and he landed on top of me laughing.

“You rogue!” he yelled pummeling my shoulders with his fists.

But he was laughing so hard he missed me more often than not. I rolled him over, pinning him by the shoulders. Kel laughed and ran his fingers down my chest. I moaned and loosened my grip. He pulled backwards to get away but Tova was blocking his escape. I grabbed him again and started to tickle him. I had no idea if Kel was ticklish but it seemed like a good move at the time. Kel exploded in laughter. He started thrashing and pounding on my chest.

“JOSH!” he yelled thrashing. “Stop it. No, don’t! Josh! Stop! Don't. Stop it.”

He twisted and thrashed under me, kicking his feet and laughing harder. I switched positions so I was sitting on him. He bucked and thrashed under me. I leaned down until my face was inches from him, he raised his head and our lips met. Fire flowed down my back and I relaxed my grip on Kel. He bucked his hips and sent me flying sideways. Kel scrambled to his feet and bounced away laughing. Crystal and Tova barked and ran to him. I leaped to my feet and launched myself at him.

He moved but not fast enough; I caught him around the waist. The momentum of my launch spun us both in a circle. He sagged forward laughing and I almost dropped him as his weight pulled us both down. My sore foot sent shockwaves of pain across my heel and up my ankle as I tried to steady us both. I grunted loudly. Tova pushed at my legs and down I went, into a heap on top of Kel. I was afraid I might have hurt him and I scrambled sideways. He was shaking from laughter. I scooted up behind Kel and wrapped my legs around his waist. He leaned back against me panting and laughing. I put my arms over his shoulders and rested my palms against his belly.

“Gotcha,” I whispered in his ear. “I win!”

“Oh God Josh, I haven’t laughed that hard in I don’t know HOW long!” Kel said panting. He hiccupped, and then hiccupped again. And again.

“The hi.. iccu.. upps! How ju..hic..venile can you hic get!?” He yelped.

I started laughing, I couldn’t help it: Kel was hiccupping and yelping in mock annoyance and the dogs were barking, I was happier than I had been since leaving home. The back of Kel's t-shirt was streaked with dirt and grass stains and my chest where it had rubbed the back of his shirt was dirty.

"What's all dis noise, huh?" The voice came from behind me. I turned as did Kel. Tova bounded over to the back fence, woofing excitedly. From between two hedges appeared a small elderly woman. She looked ancient to me. She patted Tova on the head.

"Yah, I was worried, Kel," she said in an accent that sounded Germanic to me. "I hear all so much shouting and screaming. But ten I hear laughing too."

Kel scrambled to his feet. He put out a hand to help me up.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Witsky," he said. Kel pulled me upright and looped his arm around my waist. He leaned his head against my shoulder. I held him feeling the warmth of his body through the t-shirt.

"Mrs. Witsky, this is Josh. Josh, Mrs. Witsky."

She looked me up and down. What did she think seeing a dirt streaked, sweaty Indian with his arm around her surrogate son? She smiled.

"He is a tall one. Quiet, yah?" She crossed the yard and held out her hand. I took her hand surprised at how strong she was even though I could feel all the bones in her hand

"And has his own dog," she grinned at Kel. "Is good ting."

Kel laughed and hugged the old woman and she hugged him back. Mrs. Witsky looked up at me, her expression fiercely possessive. She was a small woman with thick gray hair pulled back into a chignon. Her face was heavily lined and wrinkled but her blue eyes were bright and twinkled.

"My boy, he been hurt, many people hurt him," she glared up at me. "You not hurt him." Her finger poked me in the middle of my chest. "You hear, no hurting my boy."

I closed her hand between my two much larger ones and raised it to my cheek. Her hand was surprisingly soft against my cheek.

"I promise Mrs. Witsky, I have NO intentions of hurting Kel,” I kissed her hand.

She sighed, “Is charming.” She put her hands on her hips. “You no be all words, you hear? I kick your ass you be all words.” But she smiled at me anyway.

Kel laughed and hugged her again.

“And she can do it, Josh. Believe me!”

We talked for a little while longer. Mrs. Witsky and Crystal admired each other. Kel laughed and talked rapidly telling her all about “us”. By the time, she went back through the gate to her yard we had just enough time for a quick shower before getting dressed to go to Xan’s party.

I had a tense moment while getting dressed when I realized my only pair of clean jeans at Kel's was the pair I had put on that morning , now dirty and covered in dog and wolf hair. But Kel ran downstairs and brought up a clean pair fresh from the dryer. I hugged him and kissed him deeply in thanks. Kel dug through his closet and found a light blue shirt that was only slightly too big for him.

"I wasn't sure if I still had this one," he said softly, tucking in the shirt.

I cradled his chin in my hand and raised his head. His eyes were clear and shimmering.

"Looks gorgeous on you," I said. "Goes with your eyes beautifully."

Kel blushed and smiled.

"Thank you," he whispered.

My red shirt was clean so I wore it and a pair of black jeans. Kel wanted to brush my hair and I let him. There is little in the world more sensual than having someone brush your hair for you.

After he brushed my hair, I watched Kel finish getting dressed. He dug around in the mess on his dresser and found a small wooden box. He opened it laying the lid carefully on the dresser. Kel pushed his hair back on the right and removed his earring. He dropped it in the box and took another one out. He held it up so I could see it: a tiny teardrop stone of pale blue. I smiled and he put it in his ear.

Into his pockets went a set of keys, a wallet and a pocketknife. He started to search the dresser top turning things over and moving them around. Then suddenly he stopped a notebook in his hand.

"Oh!" He said softly.

"What? Is something wrong?" I got up from the bed and walked over to him.

"No," he shook his head. "I was just looking for my lighter."

"Your lighter?" I asked puzzled.

"Just scrolling through the things in my head that belong in my pockets and thinking about meeting your friends," he grinned and ticked things off on his fingers. "Wallet, keys, checkbook-not necessary-, change, watch, lighter, forgetting, of course, that I don't need it anymore."

"Ahh," I said. "Autopilot working at top function."

He snickered and grinned at me.

"How do I look?" He asked shyly.

I surveyed him slowly. My fingers brushed his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch. He was so frighteningly thin and frail looking, but his face was flushed.

"Absolutely delicious," I said softly. I took his hands and turned them over. His cuffs were rolled up twice. The scars on his left wrist plainly visible against the pale blue of his shirt. I looked at him inquiringly.

“Yeah, well I figure you will be with me,” he said. “And I told you, I hate having my sleeves buttoned!”

I nodded and kissed him.

The canines were none to happy to be left behind. Kel ran downstairs and checked on Keeley making sure she had enough food and water and that Misty was likewise all right. He shut the laundry room door, so Misty could go out through the cat door, but Tova wouldn’t be able to get in. Kel explained to me that Tova had killed a previous kitten when he had been left alone to long. So when he got Misty, who was already pregnant, he had the cat door installed so she could go in and out but Tova couldn’t get in.

“Keeley’d probably peck his eyes out anyway, so it’s really for his own protection!” He grinned at me.

We decided to take my car. Kel leaned back in the passenger seat and closed his eyes, a smile playing about his lips. I reached over and closed my hand over his. He smiled at me. Neither of us said much we just enjoyed each other’s company.

The Manhattan was located in downtown Seattle making getting to it nerve wracking to say the least. However, we managed to get there at four on the dot, thanks to the judicious use of back roads and side streets. The friend of a friend of Kaleb’s owned the restaurant. It had almost gone under the previous year until Kaleb offered the owner a deal. He’d finance a total remake for a percentage of the profits. According to Xan, Kaleb was making a tidy bit from the deal.

The maitre d’ ushered us right into the banquet room. Several people were milling about talking and drinking. Hands were flying as conversations were in both voice and sign. I wrapped my arm around Kel’s waist and headed across the floor to Xan. Xan saw me coming and broke into a big grin.

“YOSS!” he shouted. I blushed as heads cranked around to see.

“Cool,” Kel breathed softly. “Did they rehearse that move, do ya think?”

I chuckled and threw my arms around Xan’s neck. Xan was my height with curly white blond hair and the bluest eyes I’d ever seen! As usual, his shirt was unbuttoned showing off the downy blond hair curling on his chest. He was the ultimate in casual just tucking his shirts into his Chinos, rarely bothering with the buttons. He grinned and kissed me squarely on the lips, his eyes sliding sideways to where Kaleb was standing. Kaleb was known to be VERY possessive of Xan.

“Jeez, someone get a hose,” Kaleb said, signing at the same time.

Laughter rolled around the room. Dora, Xan’s older sister took the present from me and signed “thank you”. Dora was a tall, blond woman with curly hair. There was no mistaking her relationship with Xan. She carried the package to a table covered with other presents.

Introductions were quickly made. The party was a small one, after Kel and me; there was Xan and Kaleb, Dora and her boyfriend, Kyle who was a good-looking blond with a quick smile. Lisa, Xan’s cousin, was a brown haired woman with laughing eyes. I knew her well because she had often accompanied Xan, before he met Kaleb, to be his interpreter. Rounding out the party was Colin and Alex. Colin’s friend owned the Manhattan.

Colin was a tall gorgeous redhead; he had been a friend of Kaleb’s in college. He was about 30, but his lover Alex was my age. Alex was dark haired and blue eyed. I had met them both a couple times before, Alex was extremely shy and tended to stay behind Colin. He was also one of the best selling painters in the Pacific Northwest.

Kaleb had arranged the seating so that signers were interspersed with non-signers, that way; hopefully no one would feel left out. Much to his surprise Kel found a fan in Dora’s boyfriend, Kyle, who was also deaf. The two of them kept Lisa very busy as they discussed plot lines.

After eating people broke up into groups to talk. Xan pulled his chair up to me and leaned against me.

“How are you?” He wrote on a pad of paper.

I took the pencil. “Very well,” I wrote. He nodded. He looked over my shoulder to Kel. He wrote some more.

“He pretty.”

“Yes,” I wrote.

He wrinkled his nose. “You talk. I read you fine!” he wrote.

I smiled and signed thank you.

“Where meet?”

I told him about meeting Kel at the club. He nodded. Kaleb and he frequented that club as well. Xan looked over my shoulder and signed something. I craned around to look, but Xan tapped me on the arm.

“Bad bad scar on his wrist,” Xan wrote.

I cradled Xan’s face in my hands. For a moment, I could only rest my forehead against his. He stroked my hair. I looked up at him tears in my eyes.

“He tried to commit suicide," I said softly but clearly. Xan’s eyes widened.

“FAHK!” Xan shouted. Heads turned to look at him. Dora had been talking to Alex and when he turned, she did as well.

“Just Xan announcing his favorite pastime,” Kaleb drawled. He walked over from where he had been talking to Kel and Kyle.

There was more laughter. Lisa made a hurried explanation to Dora and Kyle. I looked at Kel who was looking puzzled. I smiled and pursed my lips into a kiss. He smiled back. Xan flushed and looked down. Kaleb signed something to Xan who made an impatient gesture of dismissal. He grabbed the pad and wrote on it.

“WHY! Why? Why?”

I couldn’t answer that. I knew what Kel had told me but why? Only one person could answer that question.

“Kel,” I said. “”Can you come here for a minute?”

Kel looked puzzled and excused himself from Kyle. He walked over and leaned against the table and me. I wrapped my arm around his hips. I continued to look at Xan as I told Kel what we had been discussing. Kel sagged against me when I showed him Xan’s written inquiry. He looked at Xan.

“Why?” he said softly. “I was scared, lonely, hurting, frightened. I hear things in my head telling me how worthless I am, how stupid I am, that I can‘t write ... I couldn’t fight them anymore.”

Xan shot up and wrapped Kel in a bear hug. Kel looked surprised, then wrapped his arms around Xan and hugged him back.

Xan’s hands flew when he let go of Kel. I couldn’t understand any of it. Kaleb moved sideways to try to see what Xan was saying so he could interpret.

“Not anymore you don’t,” Alex said softly from behind Kel. “You have Josh, you have ME, and you have all of us now. Josh take good care of you! You don’t listen to those things anymore! NO! NO! NO!” Alex nodded. “There’s more but it’s mostly repetition of what he’s already said. So it appears that you have been adopted.”

Alex smiled. Colin had walked up behind Alex and looped his arm over Alex's shoulder. He nodded.

"Welcome to the family," Colin said smiling.

I looked at Kel, there were tears streaming down his face.

“Thank you,” he said.

Xan hugged him again. Then Alex hugged him. Colin also hugged Kel as did Kaleb. There was quiet around the room for a minute. Then gradually conversation returned. I was deeply concerned at what Kel's reaction may be to being the focus of attention. His eyes were glassy with tears but he seemed to be doing okay. I squeezed his hand. He smiled at me.

“I had expected it to be quieter here,” Kel said to me.

Kaleb laughed. Kaleb was about 5’7” and almost as broad across the chest as he was tall. His black hair curled at the ends and his eyes were black as well. He had massive arms and a heavily muscled chest. His stomach was flat and hard as a rock. I knew because I had sparred with him several times. I had also gone to the gym with him and Xan. Tonight he was wearing a black button down shirt, a black vest and black Chinos. Given his size, I doubted very much if any of them were off the rack.

“You should hear it at the Rec Center. Actually deaf people make a lot of sounds, most of which they don’t realize they are making. Kyle is very hard of hearing, in a room with just him and another person he can hear a bit, but in here there’s too much background noise.” Kaleb smiled, “Sorry, about Xan earlier. He doesn’t realize what loud is. The condo association is going to lynch him or me soon if I can’t convince him NOT to crank up the bass on the stereo till the windows flex.”

Kel and I must have looked puzzled because Kaleb chuckled.

“He feels the vibration. Same way he tunes a car engine - vibration.” Kaleb said.

“Of course!“ I said, after all hadn't I spent many hours working on the Mustang with him? Kel nodded in understanding.

By this time, it was starting to get late. Kaleb ushered everyone together so Xan could unwrap gifts. I had bought him a silver necklace with a tiny silver wrench and screwdriver on it. The first time we worked on my car, I wondered why he carried a two-foot long screwdriver. It was so he could feel the vibration of the car engine and by placing it against his head, he could almost “hear” the engine noise. I was amazed, even after he explained to me that hearing is really only encoded vibration. When I saw the necklace at the jeweler’s I knew it was meant for Xan.

Xan was delighted and exuberant in his thank yous to everyone: more hugs and laughs were exchanged. Slowly everyone drifted out to the parking lot. The cool evening air brought out shivers and slapping hands. A little more conversation and then everyone headed for their cars. Xan hugged me again.

“We do lunch,” he said in that odd flat monotone that deaf people have.

“All right,” I said. “Tuesday?”

He nodded and signed yes. He signed something else that looked like the middle finger and thumb of each hand kissing. Kaleb grinned.

“That’s ‘date’ he’s signing. So in other words, Xan says it’s a date.”

“Oh, great,” I said. Xan kissed me quickly, then hugged Kel. He wrapped his arm around Kaleb. Together they walked off toward Kaleb’s 1990 Mustang. I watched them for a moment feeling the usual pang of loss. But Kel was close to me, so close I could hear him breathe. I touched his face. He sighed.

This was the man I wanted, the man I loved. I ached for him, I wanted to hear his laugh and see his smile. I wanted the feel of his arms around me and his lips on mine. Xan was a wish that never materialized. Xan was a fantasy, but Kel... Kel was reality.

Kel was heat and fire, laughter and a hot cup of coffee. I wanted Kel. I loved Kel.

“C’mon,” I said wrapping my arm around his waist and pulling him close. “Let’s go home.”

Revised November 11, 2006