The following story is fiction. Although some of the events depicted are
based on actual happenings they are only incidental to the story and do not
constitute a basis in reality.
The story is copyright, the reader may
download a copy for his/her own use, but republishing or archiving on other
websites or newsgroups without the author's permission is strictly
prohibited. All rights are reserved.
The following story contains references to
two men having strong emotional and physical feelings for each other. You shouldn't read it if you're below the age
of consent in your community or if said community doesn't allow you to access
such material.
The author would like to again thank Drew
Hunt for his encouragement in the writing of this story. His love and
friendship have been the motivating factors the author’s attempts at
writing. He would also like to thank
Drew and Tim Mead for reading, editing and correcting this work and for their
continued faith in me as a writer. T.
O'Reilly
Ministry
Randall
stood on the porch waiting for the door to be answered. He was here for his weekly meeting with his
pastoral leader, Bob. In The Fellowship to which he belonged everyone had a
pastoral leader to look after their spiritual needs. Randall was also a pastoral leader for
several men in The Fellowship. In the
pecking order Bob was a district leader, Randall was under his direction and
worked with men who had been in the fellowship fewer years than he. These men
in turn were the pastoral leaders for their families.
He
felt his nervousness increase as he waited.
He was always nervous when meeting with Bob. It was not in his nature to talk about his
inner most feelings and beliefs but he had been convinced that this was God’s
way of bringing him to his full potential.
Bob was a good man. He seemed to
sincerely care about Randall and his spiritual needs. It was just that some of Randall’s needs
weren’t the kind you felt comfortable talking about.
The
door finally opened.
“Randall,
you know you don’t have to ring the bell when you come here. Just come right in."
He'd
been greeted by Bob’s wife, Sharon. She
was dressed as she always was when he came for his meetings: a housedress and
apron, hair and make-up perfect and a warm welcoming smile on her face. She reminded him of Mrs. Cleaver from ‘Leave
it to Beaver’.
“Thank
you, Sharon, I know that, I guess but … well my momma always taught me…”
“Now
don’t you go blaming this on that dear sweet mother of yours,”
“Very
well, thanks, the fellowship prayers for her recovery from her hip surgery seem
to be working.”
“Praise
the Lord,”
“Bob
is just finishing up his meeting with Ralph.”
Ralph
was one of the overall leaders of the fellowship.
“Can
I get you some coffee while you wait?”
Randall
politely refused the coffee. He wasn’t
much interested in seeing Ralph. Ralph
had lead the team that had prayed for him for
exorcism. It was Ralph who had discerned
that Randall had some deep spiritual disturbance that was keeping him from full
communion with God. After much prayer,
sweating and four hours on his knees with three men leaning over him commanding
the unclean spirit to reveal itself, Randall finally gave in and confessed that
he was gay. There was much rejoicing
that the demon had revealed itself and with shouts and commands of heavenly
authority it was cast out.
He
hadn't felt much difference immediately following the prayer session, but that
night when making love to his wife he had achieved an erection without having
to resort to a fantasy of some hairy chested muscle
man with a nine inch cock and balls like King Kong. His joy was short lived,
however, as when he came to his climax, images of Bob, whom, he had seen in the
shower at a retreat, came rushing in. Bob, with his swimmer’s body, tight, thick pubic hair and full round
smooth ass pushed him right over the edge with such force that he almost cried
out his name. So much
for the effectiveness of exorcism.
Ralph
came up from the basement office.
“Randall,”
he exclaimed embracing him in a full body hug.
“Praise the Lord, so good to see you."
“Ralph,”
Randall replied returning the hug.
Hoping the guilt he felt that he was still lusting after men in his
fantasies and dreams wouldn't be revealed to Ralph’s spiritual antenna.
“
“Amen,”
“Well,
Randall. I’ll let you get to your
meeting with Bob. He has some great news
for you. Great
news."
Ralph
hugged both Sharon and Randall once more.
Praised the Lord again and left.
Randall
smiled weakly at the lady and retreated down the stairs to Bob’s office.
Here
the hugs and the Lord’s praises were repeated once again.
“Well,
Randall, shall we start this time together in prayer?” Bob’s greeting was warm and sincere.
“Yes.”
“Dear
heavenly Father….” Bob prayed for God’s blessing on the time he and Randall
spent together and that the Spirit would guide them in the things that they
were to discuss.
“Amen,”
Bob intoned.
“Amen,”
Randall added.
“Let’s
start with a review of your week." This was standard practice for the
pastoral leader and his subordinate.
Making sure the daily Bible study and prayer times were being
observed. Ensuring all familial
obligations were adhered to. Being certain the spiritual well beings of
all the men and their families under his supervision were being addressed.
Once
Bob was assured that Randall was doing his duty to all under his care he got to
the pit of the meeting.
“Randall,
how are things going with your resistance to the sexual perversion that we were
able to drive from your being?”
‘Shit’. Was he going to admit that he fantasized
about the man sitting before him frequently when he jacked off in the
shower? Or that one of his spiritual
charges was so hot that he got hard every time they were together and could
hardly wait until he could lay hands on him when they prayed? Worse yet, was he going to admit he still had
certain gay porn sites bookmarked on his computer and used them as masturbation
material whenever the kids and his wife were out of the house? God forgive him… no way.
“Everything
is just fine, Bob. God be praised. I am
completely healed of all that sinful entrapment of the flesh." Randall
wished he were in a position to cross his fingers without being observed.
“Praise
the Lord."
“Yes,
praise the Lord.”
“Then,
Randall, you feel you are strong in the Lord; able to resist any temptation
that may come your way?”
“Yes,”
Randall hoped it was so.
“Then
we, that is Ralph, the
other pastoral leaders, and I, have
decided that it is time that you be given a ministry.”
Randall
was dumbfounded. Only those who were
truly proven to be strong in the Spirit were trusted to be given a
ministry. He was both apprehensive and
proud.
“We
have had a number of calls,” Bob continued, “from men afflicted with the same
demons that possessed you. We don’t
expect you to perform a full-fledged exorcism yourself but we think you are
ready to counsel those who are so afflicted and bring them to the point of
requesting exorcism. Randall your ministry is to be to men, married like
yourself who harbor desires that are an abomination to the Lord.”
Randall
didn't know how to respond. He was
honored to have been chosen to have a ministry.
But, then why was he getting hard just thinking about being with men
like himself?
He shifted in his chair to hide his growing tumescence.
“Well?” Bob was clearly expecting a response.
“If
the Lord feels I am ready, then by his grace I will be,” Randall replied.
“Then
let us pray.”
Bob
dropped to his knees, Randall followed suit.
Bob placed his hands on Randall’s head and began to pray for strength,
discernment and guidance as Randall embarked on his new crusade to spread the
truth of God to the masses.
Bob
returned to his chair. “I have several
names and numbers of men who have called The Fellowship requesting help with
their homosexuality." That was the first time, as far as Randall could
remember, that it had been referred to as anything other than ‘that
perversion.' Bob handed him an index card with a man’s name and number.
Randall
took the card. ‘Doug, married, with
children.’ He would free him from his bondage. Doug was his to….. to
what? Oh yes free him from his bondage.
“If
you are successful with ….uh…Doug,” he said leaning forward to look at the name
on the card again, “I will give you the names of two other men who have
requested ministry.”
Bob
and Randall discussed a few other issues regarding The
Fellowship, prayed once more and went upstairs.
Randall
returned home. He greeted his wife with
the news that he was being given a ministry, sat down to dinner, led the family
with devotions, helped get the children ready for bed and went to bed himself.
As
soon as his spouse was in bed they began making love. Doug, and two other
nameless men joined them. Randall fought
them off but to no avail. When the
pinnacle of excitement came he had to force his mouth shut.
(((((O))))))
Randall
sat listening to the phone ringing through the earpiece of the receiver. His mouth was dry and he was sweating
slightly. He was making his first
contact with Doug. He was just about to
hang up when a deep, masculine voice said, “Hello”
Randall
froze. This was it, he was beginning his
ministry but he couldn’t say a word.
‘Lord help me, ’ he thought.
“Hello, who is this,” came the velvet voice
again, this time tinged with a bit of irritation.
“Um hello." Randall’s voice was thin
and higher pitched than usual. ‘Oh
great,’ he groaned inwardly. “This is Randall.
I am a member of the Word of the Light Fellowship. You are Doug?”
The
voice at the other end immediately became warm and enthusiastic. “Yes, yes this is Doug. Oh, man I'm so glad you called.”
“My
pastoral leader, Bob, has asked that I contact you about some spiritual problems
you've been experiencing?” Randall ended
with a question in his voice, as he had been trained, to encourage Doug to
share his need.
Doug
didn't need any encouragement. He
launched immediately into his sexual history with such vivid detail that Randall
had a raging hard on in no time. This was as close as Randall had ever been to
man to man sex, and this blow by blow (literally) description given by a live
man was the most exciting moment of his sexual life. His underwear was soaked with pre-cum. He was sure that if he shifted, the
stimulation of his cock by the fabric would cause him to climax.
When
Doug paused, it took Randall a moment to realize he was expected to respond. He
was so short of breath that he could only squeak. “Interesting.”
“So,
do you think you can help me? The guilt
is driving me nuts. I'm afraid my wife’ll find out I'm sleeping around and that’d be it… the
shit would really hit the fan."
Randall
tried to compose himself. He forced
himself to lower his voice. He hoped he
sounded sexier and less like an adolescent.
Had he thought sexier? No, more
mature.
“I
certainly do.” There that was better, voice lower, in control. “The Lord wants you to be free of this
perversion and certainly he has the power to help you."
“Okay.” Doug sounded hesitant. Had Randall come on too strong?
“Um…
do you mind if I ask you something, Randall?”
Randall
felt a pang of apprehension. “No,” he
said.
“Why
were you chosen to be the one to help me?
Do you have any special qualifications? You sound pretty young.”
Randall’s
reaction to this was a mixture of defensiveness and panic. He'd been chosen by The Fellowship to fight
the Lord’s fight. So if God was on his
side, age had nothing to do with it: think of David and Goliath. But, then what were his qualifications? He could only think of one. He was as queer as a rhino with wings. Should he tell Doug that? Why hadn’t he thought of asking Bob for some
advice before he rode off into the crusade?
“Well,”
He took a deep breath and said, “I have been in the same situation you
are. With the Lord’s help I have
overcome it."
“Really?”
came the reply.
“So, you’ve been playing around with guys? You’re gay?”
‘Damn,’
Randall’s thoughts raced. I gave him the idea that I slept around. Since he’d never slept with anyone other than his
wife there had been nothing to overcome.
He certainly was still gay. He
jacked off and fantasized every chance he got. Hell, he had just about cum in
his pants at the sound of this man’s voice.
He decided to skip a response to playing around with guys and lie about
the gay thing.
“I
was, but I have been set free,” he said hoping he sounded convincing.
Evidently
he did as Doug responded with, “Fuck, I hope you can, cuz
this guilt thing is about to do me in.
When do we start?”
At
the sound of the man saying the word ‘fuck,’ Randall’s cock twitched but he
controlled himself and set up an appointment to meet Doug one afternoon the
next week.
Every
day that went by as Randall waited for the appointment was bittersweet. Randall couldn’t keep from using that voice
as a catalyst for masturbation or as the stimulus to push him over the edge
when he had sex with his wife. He tried
to match the voice with a visual image.
It was clear that Doug was older: not a senior by any means but
older. As he looked at pictures on the
internet, he would conjure up the voice in his memory and try to associate it with the face in the photo.
Pleasure mixed with guilt.
The
night before the appointment Randall began to panic. He'd spent the whole week in sexual fantasy
with a man he was supposed to be leading out of the darkness into the
light. He should have been praying,
fasting, seeking the Lord’s guidance. Instead he was lusting after a phantom
lover. He would call Bob and tell him he
shouldn’t do this. No, he couldn’t do
that. He would just have to trust the
Lord would come to his aide in his weakness.
Didn’t it say somewhere in scripture that He is strongest when we are
weak. ‘Where was that damn passage
anyway?’
Doug
worked as an occupational therapist in a hospital about 45 minutes from
Randall. It was early April and there had been a freak snowstorm during the
night. He'd called Doug, relieved there
was a reason to cancel. It would give him more time to prepare himself
spiritually. But as soon as he heard the
voice, his resolve melted and instead told Doug that he might be a bit late
because of the snow.
Randall
parked the car in the visitor lot of the Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation Building, walked through the slushy snow to the entrance and
took the elevator up to the third floor.
He found the suite where Doug’s office was located and walked up to the
receptionist.
“Can
I help you?”
“I’m
here to see Mr. Carter.”
“Do
you have an appointment?” She frowned
looking at the list of Doug’s patients for that day.
“Yes.”
“Which
practice referred you? Mr. Carter is
seeing his last patient of the day. I don’t seem to have anyone else listed.”
“Oh,
I'm not a patient. I'm a …” ‘A what?
Spiritual counselor? Sex therapist? Insurance Salesman?’ “friend of his. He's expecting me.”
“Oh,
I see,” she said with what could have been a wink. ‘Did she know about his
affliction? Did she think Randall was
one of his special friends?’
“Name
please?”
“Oh um." Randall couldn’t think
fast enough to do anything but tell the truth.
But, then why shouldn’t he. He
wasn’t one of Doug’s
playmates. He was here on legitimate
business. The most legitimate of
all. “My name is Randall Cummings from
Weston.”
The
receptionist switched on the intercom.
“Doug?”
“There's
a Mr. Collins?” She looked at him.
“Cummings… from Weston.”
“Cummings from Weston. He says he has an appointment to see you.”
“I
don’t know any body named Cummings….
Randall
had never noticed the sexual connotation of his last name until the moment when
he heard Doug say it. Now he wished his
name was Collins. He thought he was
blushing as the secretary regarded him.
Oh
wait, is his first name Randall?
“Yes.”
“Now I know who he is. Just have him wait a
minute I'm almost done here.”
Randall
sat down in the seat that the young woman indicated and waited. It couldn’t have been more than five minutes
but it seemed like hours. He could feel
sweat running down his sides.
Finally
the door opened and walking toward him was a six foot, two hundred pound
Adonis with what had to be premature silver hair and a smile that caused
Randall’s toes to curl. Randall felt
weak.
“Randy."
Doug stuck out his hand and shook Randall’s as he pulled him to his feet. “You don’t mind if I call you Randy, right?”
At
that moment, Randall didn’t care what this man called him. He had never been this close to another gay man, that he knew of, and he felt like he was generating
enough electricity to light the building.
Doug
led him to an office off the main reception area. He indicated a seat, which Randall took,
closed and locked the door behind him.
The
room was large and had equipment in it that Randall assumed was used in Doug’s
work with his patients. There was a
large desk in the corner covered with papers and folders. Certificates attesting to Doug’s
qualifications along with seascapes decorated the walls. Doug pulled the chair from behind the desk
and sat directly in front of Randall with his legs spread. He was in hospital scrubs and they left only
minor details to the imagination. These
qualifications were as impressive as the ones on the walls.
“Let’s
get started,” Doug said.
For
the next hour Randall and Doug talked about Doug’s life, his family, marriage. Randall tried to avoid much of Doug’s sexual
history as he already had a hard on and knew the pre cum was flowing. He was prepared this time, however. He wore a jock and had lined the inside with
a Kotex just to be sure that there would be no slip ups. This worked to a point. However, the extra
padding plus the erection gave Randall the look of one very
hung stud. Doug had obviously noticed.
A
further hour was spent in spiritual discussion, with Randall trying to explain
God’s position on the sin of homosexuality, and Doug wincing and not altogether
accepting all that was being told him.
By the time the appointment was drawing to a close however, Doug seemed to be
open to further ministry.
“A
week from Friday, he
said, “my wife will be out of town at her mother’s. I have to work and so I
won’t be joining her until Saturday.
Maybe you could meet me for dinner here and we could go back to my place
and pick up where we left off today?”
“Okay,"
Randall had some
hesitancy about this, but the day had gone well. Maybe he was over his infatuation with the
man and could get down to the business of saving his soul..
That
hesitancy quickly returned however, when as he was about to leave, Doug took
him in a full body hug. Telling him how
much he appreciated Randall’s taking so much time with him. As they stood, there bodies pressed together,
Randall knew they were both aware that some parts of both their bodies were
more than happy to be spending time together. He suppressed a shudder but allowed himself to
breathe in the man’s scent. It was
intoxicating.
Doug
walked him to his car. They shook hands
and Randall left. He had no recollection
of the drive back to Weston. All he
could see before his eyes was the smiling face, the bulging crotch and the fine rear
view he’d seen as Doug had walked away from the car.
(((((o)))))
It
was the Thursday before Randall was supposed to see Doug again. He was at his weekly meeting with Bob, a day
early to accommodate his appointment. He
had decided to come clean with his pastoral leader. He knew he couldn’t keep up the charade of
not being gay any longer. He was
gay. He knew it. He knew that Doug knew it. Their embrace the last time they had seen
each other had given him ample proof of that.
He was pretty sure he knew what would happen after dinner tomorrow if he
went to Doug’s house. He couldn’t let
that happen. He was a member of The
Fellowship.
“So,
how are things going with your ministry?”
It
was Randall’s mouth talking, but who was saying the words? “Bob, it's just going so well. Doug is so open to the truth that
homosexuality is an abomination to the Lord.
I really think there will be a major breakthrough tomorrow.”
‘No,
no that isn’t what I was going to say.
The major breakthrough tomorrow won’t be a spiritual one. It will be a physical one. What's going on here?’
“Well,
praise the Lord. I knew you were the one
for this ministry. Ralph had his
hesitation but I told him you were strong in the Lord and ‘Randall could handle
it’,” Bob chuckled. “Randall could
handle. Get it." He chuckled again.
Randall
passed off his wince with a forced smile.
Again he made an about face.
Nothing had happened other than a hug of
friendship at the end of that last meeting.
He'd handled it. He had been
strong. He could do this. What he was feeling was just from lack of
experience. He wasn't gay any
longer. Just… confused?
“Since
you've done so well in your first assignment, here are the next two souls you
will save from the jaws of degradation. Their names are… let’s see, un Carl and Jason.”
Randall
left Bob, receiving more hugs and praises, the names and numbers of two more
men to contact and went home to prepare for his meeting with Doug the next day. He did so by jacking off in the shower when
he got home, making
love to his wife accompanied by the faceless phantoms of Carl and Jason. He finished up his preparation the following
afternoon by masturbating in the office lavatory just before leaving for his
appointment. With the tanks dry there
would be less temptation to backslide.
(((((O)))))
He
saw Doug enter the restaurant.
Immediately he knew all his preparation was to no avail. He was reacting at the mere site of him. Doug made eye contact and walked to the
booth.
“Hi,”
he said extending his hand.
In
Randall’s mind he took the proffered hand and smothered it with kisses, licking between the
fingers, sucking each one in turn. In reality he merely shook the extended hand
and said, “Hi.”
The
meal passed pleasantly. Randall was
totally distracted by the man sitting across from him. He couldn't have recalled one word of the
conversation if his life had depended on it.
But his memory of the meal was one of complete satisfaction.
Randall
followed Doug to his house, parked in front and walked
in the front door.
“Wine?”
‘No,
I shouldn’t.’ Randall thought. “Yes,
please.” He said.
“Red or white?”
“Red.”
“Merlot or
Since
Randall didn’t know one from the other he just said, “Whatever you’re having.”
He
watched as Doug walked out of the room. That beautiful view once more doing things to his cock that the
jock strap was holding in check.
When
he returned he sat next to Randall on the couch. Very close to Randall on the couch. “Well, Randy, what do we do first.”
Randall’s
mind reeled. ‘What do we do first, anything, everything.’
Randall
wasn't used to drinking wine or any other alcoholic beverage. So, after having drunk only a few swallows he
was feeling warm and relaxed.
“First,
I think you need to understand the scriptural basis for why homosexuality is
wrong.”
“Okay,
what did Jesus have to say about it?” Doug asked.
“Well,
nothing. He never mentioned it.”
“But,
he did mention that being critical and judgmental was wrong, right?”
“Ah,
yes. Yes, that is true.”
“Okay
go on.”
“Well…”
“Hang
on, let me get you some more wine.”
‘What
the hell,’ Randall thought. Once more
the ass of his fantasies rolled out of the room.
Doug
returned.
“Paul
says..."
Doug
interrupted again. “Don’t some
theological guys think Paul was all up tight cuz he
was actually gay? I mean the thorn in
his side and don’t get married and all that.”
“I
suppose that some people might interpret it that…” It was getting very warm in the room and
Doug’s eyes were so very wonderful to look into.
Doug
was continuing. “They say something
about him being a Jew and going by all those rules in the Old Testament. You know like, don’t eat pork, don’t mix up
milk and meat, don’t work on Sunday and don’t even touch a woman on the rag or
you will be stoned.”
“And,”
added Randall with a giggle and waggling a finger in Doug’s face, “ don’t lie with a man as a man lies with a woman… it is an
abomination to the Lord." He giggled again.
“Yeah
but all the others were abominations, too.
So, haven’t you ever kissed your wife when she had her period? If you did you are abominated," He
laughed.
He
had a point Randall thought as Doug left the room once more to refill the
glasses. Randall stroked himself.
When
Doug returned, Randall was trying to actually find some of the few scriptures
that referred to homosexuality as a sin.
His fingers were having a bit of trouble with the fine paper pages of
the book.
He
took a sip of the wine and pointed to the passage he had found. “Right here it
says that …”
And
that was as far as he got. Doug leaned over, took the book and turned Randall to face him.
“Forgive
me Father, for I have sinned," he said with a smile and kissed Randall full
on the lips.
Randall
didn’t know what to do or say. At first he started to pull away. Then he leaned
into the kiss, his first from a man. Sky
rockets and cherry bombs went off behind his eyes and in his head.
“You
were saying?” Doug said with mock seriousness.
“Right
here it says…” once
again that was as far as Randall got.
But, this time it was Randall who initiated the kiss. And this time Doug opened his mouth and let
Randall’s tongue explore its depths.
Doug
stood up. He grabbed the edges of his
Polo shirt and pulled it over his head.
Randall
gasped as the beautiful silver haired chest appeared with its prominent
nipples. Doug took both his hands in his. He placed Randall’s hands on his
chest and slowly moved them around.
Randall was mesmerized.
Then
Doug slowly dropped his pants. He was
wearing Jockey low risers. His cock was
outlined perfectly against the fabric.
Randall could do nothing but stare. Doug pulled him forward and his face
was crushed into Doug’s genitals. Randall moaned with pleasure.
“Come
on,” Doug whispered pulling Randall to his feet. They went into the guest bedroom. There, Doug skillfully undressed his
‘mentor’. He laughed when he saw the
jock strap stuffed with Kotex. But, when he removed it he wasn’t
disappointed. Randall was amply endowed.
Then finally came the time when Doug pulled his Jockeys down and Randall saw
the beautiful male member slap against his sculptured abs.
At
“Hi
Honey, yeah its me.
The weather is terrible. I better not try to drive home tonight. I’m gonna stay
here at a Motel-6. Yeah the number is
555-3751,” he read from an illuminated dial on Doug’s bed-stand. “No, uh, you don’t need an extension,
it’s a direct line into the room. Yeah, I miss you, too. Love you, see you
tomorrow.”
“You
learn fast, said Doug, stroking Randall’s ass as he hung up the phone.
“I
had a great minister,” Randall replied.
He
crawled back into bed and snuggled deeply into Doug’s warm rug of hair. He felt Doug’s cock rising against his leg
once more. ‘I guess I have more to
learn,’ he sighed.
Later,
as he was falling asleep, wrapped tightly in Doug’s arms, he thought of the index card in his shirt
pocket, ‘Carl and Jason: would they be as much fun to minister to as Doug? Maybe I could arrange for group counseling.’
He fell asleep.
The End.