The Light in Your Eyes

By Tinnean

Chapter 12

I decided to set up one of the spare bedrooms as an office for Wills. It shared a bathroom with my own office and had originally belonged to one of the boys who'd long since moved on.

While he was at work, I backed the old Corvair out of the driveway and drove to the furniture outlets in Rockville, Maryland.

I bought Wills a computer desk with a hutch and return. Right now his computer was on the floor in a corner, unused. There was no brand name on it, like Compaq or Toshiba or Dell. He'd probably built it himself – a man who troubleshot computers would know how to do that.

I ordered an entertainment stand and a TV/VCR combo and a DVD player to go on it, a sofa that was long enough for him to snooze on if he wanted to catch forty winks and wide enough for two if I joined him, end tables, lamps, paintings for the walls. I had to play it by ear for those, choosing a series of landscapes that represented each of the four seasons since the walls of his room in the house in Cambridge bore movie posters from the original Star Wars Trilogy, The Terminator, and Aliens, and his apartment in DC had had nothing on the walls.

If Paul had seen how much I'd spent, he'd have laughed his ass off.

****

It took a few weeks for everything to be delivered. In the meantime, I repainted the walls and had new carpeting laid down. It wasn't a problem keeping it a secret. Wills was busy at work, and when he got home, I kept him too busy to ask why the apartment smelled of fresh paint.

Finally, I had the room set up, and as soon as he walked through the door that evening, I pounced on him. "I've got a surprise for you, Wills!"

"Does it involve us, naked, in the shower, maybe?" His eyes were hot with sexual excitement.

"Not right now." For a second that image distracted me – Wills' back, sleek, muscled, bowed, waiting, ready to bear my weight, slicked with water from the shower that could almost be mistaken for beads of sweat… I shook my head and brought myself back to the present. "I have to hide your eyes, okay?"

"Oh? Are you up to something kinky, babe? Again?" Because yeah, we played games. I'd blindfolded him; I'd tied him to the bed; I'd tormented his willing body with feather-light touches with feathers themselves. The one thing we didn't do was play 'dress-up' – we'd tried it once, and his reaction had stunned me. Who would have thought he could move that fast or with such unrestrained violence? He'd checked the movement of his fist at the last minute, turning white and backing away from me, horrified by what he had nearly done. I'd had to strip off the camies and goggles before he would let me near enough to get him calmed down.

"You'll see." I put my hands over his eyes and nuzzled the back of his neck. "Just not yet."

"I get it! You're trying to distract me while you take advantage of my body!"

"That's a good idea." I nipped his ear. "Not what I had in mind for right now, but hold that thought, babe," picturing us christening that wide couch. I nudged him toward the room that was now his office, then whipped my hands away. "Ta dah!"

He was quiet for so long that I began to get nervous. Didn't he like what I had done for him?

"Wills?"

"It's… " He crossed to the computer desk. Vince had ordered something similar, and I'd thought it would be perfect for Wills. He ran his fingertips over the dark cherry wood. A slight pressure, and a hidden compartment popped open. "Nice!" he breathed.

"There's room for books and software, see? And for your printer and scanner."

He nodded, then turned and looked at the TV, at the couch, at the paintings.

"Look, babe, if there's anything you don't like, I can change it, get you something different…"

"You don't have to change a thing, Theo. It's perfect."

"Yeah?" I blew out a relieved breath. "Cool. I'm glad… "

His lips cut off the rest of my words.

****

We had just finished programming the door chimes. Now, instead of playing 'Big Spender,' it would play 'Isn't It Romantic.'

"Theo, would you do me a favor?"

"Whatever you want." I blinked. I'd said that? I wasn't like Wills, who could promise anything so easily.

He'd only been gay a few months, and he really hadn't been out in the real world, not like I had been. He probably also believed that in spite of everything, people were inherently good.

And here he was, rubbing off on me. I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

"Babe?"

"Huh? Sorry, what favor did you want?" I asked uneasily.

"Would you change the message on your answering machine?"

Was that all? I pulled him in for a kiss. "For you, babe? Anything."

****

"It's a jungle out there, babe." Wills leaned against the floor-to-ceiling window that opened onto one of the small balconies that overlooked the tangled mass that was the backyard.

"If you want to deal with it, be my guest."

"Cool. The next time I have a day off… "

"That it isn't raining?" June had suddenly become damp and cool.

"Yeah, that it isn't raining. I'll do some work on it."

He was always so willing to do things around the house. He'd even helped the ladies downstairs when one of the drains had gotten clogged. Of course I'd gone with him, just to make sure the ladies knew he was off limits. I'd been surprised when they'd simply treated him like a brother.

"We don't have a lawnmower."

"Why am I not surprised?" He grinned at me over his shoulder. "The way the grass is right now, it'll choke anything that tries to bring it under control. I'll need a scythe. Maybe a mulcher." He raised an eyebrow. "Got one of those?"

"Nope."

"Okay. After lunch I'll take a ride to the Depot and pick one up."

"You don't have to do that, you know."

"Sure, I do. Have to earn my keep, don't I?"

"You don't need to do a damned thing to earn your keep, babe. Oh, maybe one thing."

"Yeah?" His mouth curled in a grin. "And what might that be?"

"Making me happy."

"Do I make you happy, Theo?"

"Yes." More than he might ever know.

"I'm glad. You've given me so much… "

This was the first time he'd said anything about all the things I'd bought for him. I chewed on my lip. "Would you… Would you rather I didn't?"

"Does it make you happy to give me all these things?"

"Well, yes."

"Then I won't tell you to stop. On one condition."

"Oh?" I waited uneasily for the other shoe to drop.

"Don't stop loving me."

"Ass." As if that was likely to happen. I joined him at the window and slid my arm around his waist. He leaned against me and kissed the hinge of my jaw.

We stood there, watching raindrops chase each other down the pane.

"I hate this kind of weather," I groused.

"That's right. You're originally from Florida… "

"How did you know?"

"You must have mentioned something about it. Anyway, I've got off the second week in August. We could fly down to Key West… "

"I never talk about where I came from, Wills. How did you know?"

I thought his gaze became blank, but then the corner of his mouth was lifted in the half grin that made me want to kiss him silly, and I forgot all about it. "You talk in your sleep, babe."

"I do?"

"Yeah."

"And I talked about Florida?"

"Yeah. About Tarpon Springs, your family. Someone named Franky."

All thoughts of kissing my lover vanished. I felt as if I'd been kicked in the gut. "F… Franky?" Oh, fuck. I'd talked about him in my sleep? Even after all these years, couldn't I get free of him?

"Theo? What's wrong?"

I swallowed and licked my lips. "What did I say?"

"About Franky?" He shrugged. "Nothing really. You just mentioned the name."

"I… I have to tell you something. About my past." I walked to the other side of the room, then turned to face him. "And… Please, Wills. Promise me… "

"Theo, you don't have to tell me anything." He came toward me, but I held my hand out to stop him.

I did have to tell him. Sooner or later he was going to start wondering why I was willing to go to every state in the Union except the state where I'd grown up and where my family lived. "… please promise me you won't walk out the door when I'm done telling you?"

Wills ignored my outthrust hand. "I promise." He did it again, as easy as that, no qualifications. How could he be so trusting, especially of me? "It's okay, Theo." He put his arms around me, stroking the muscles of my back, which felt as if they were tied in knots. "It's okay. I'm not going anywhere."

There was no point in putting it off. He would stay or he would go. In a few minutes I'd know for sure.

"I… I can't go back to Tarpon Springs. I did something when I was younger, and… " I couldn't meet his eyes… his trusting eyes. I was about to squash that trust, and it was killing me. The whole miserable story came pouring out – well, not the details of how easy it had been for Franky to work me, but the series of events that led to me killing him. "He was… he was going to sell me to… to another pimp. I… I don't even remember sticking the knife into him. And then I ran. I traded a blowjob for a ride to Washington."

"Oh, babe." He held me tight. "I'm sorry."

"I was such a stupid fucking… I thought he… I really thought he loved me." A tear spilled over and ran down my cheek as I recalled the young teen I had been.

Wills raised his hand and caught the tear. "Goddammit," he growled. I flinched and would have pulled away, but his hold on me tightened. "I should have ki… I should have told you. The job I was on a few weeks ago, that nearly broke us up? I had a layover in St. Pete on the flight home, so I decided while I was there to drive north to Tarpon Springs and look him up."

"You looked him up?" How could he do that? Franky was dead!

"Well, I tried to look him up."

"Why?" I could barely get the word past lips that felt frozen in a grimace of despair.

"I was going to beat the shit out of him for what he did to you. I found out where chicken hawks like him hang out, and I went looking for him."

"But you found out that he was already dead." He'd realize the man he claimed to love was a murderer and walk out of my life.

"Yeah, how'd you know? He'd been killed around that time."

"What? But… but that's impossible!" I was so overwhelmed by confusion and uncertainty that I didn't even ask myself how he'd been able to find Franky with just a first name.

"No, babe." He rubbed my back. "You okay?"

"He died last spring?" That meant I hadn't killed him. But how could I not have killed him? All that blood…

I was starting to hyperventilate. Black spots dotted the edge of my field of vision and my legs crumpled under me, but his arms were around me, and he didn't let me fall.

"Theo. Theo." His hands ran through and over my hair.

"What… " I swallowed. Franky would only have been in his early 40s. If he hadn't died because I'd stabbed him… "What was the cause of death?"

"Terminal stupidity from what I could gather. One of the boys told me another pimp – I didn't get the name, but he was supposed to be a big guy, nasty disposition – lost patience with Franky and had him offed."

Haskell. It had to be Haskell. He'd pretty much run things in that section of town, and that sounded like something that he would do. The man had scared me when I'd first seen him, and that had been from a distance. I couldn't see his disposition getting any sweeter in the ensuing twelve years. I took a deep breath, then took another one and licked my lips.

"I should have told you… " Wills was back to rubbing my back. "I was going to, but then I got that message on my answering machine and it made me so crazy anything else went right out of my head. Are you okay?"

"I… I think so." I tried to wrap my mind around the fact that…

He tipped my chin up and gave me a sweet smile. "So what do you say, babe?"

"What?"

"The second week in August in Key West? Will you come?"

Franky was dead, but I hadn't killed him. I could go back to Florida and see my family. Well, I could see Acacia and Ma. I could go to Disney World.

I could go to Key West. I looked into my lover's eyes. "I will."

****

Wills came home from work one evening a little tense.

"What's up, babe?"

"You mean besides me?" He grinned, but it looked forced, and I became worried.

"Wills?"

He ran a hand over his hair. "Okay, look. The thing is I have to go out of town for a couple of weeks."

This was the first time since he'd been living with me that this had come up. I took a deep breath. I was a big boy, and I didn't need him tied to me. Besides, if I kept him too close, I was afraid I would lose him.

"Okay. Can I help you pack?"

"I have it down to a science." He seemed relieved, and I felt like a prick. My behavior had made him uncertain how I would accept what he had to do for his job, made him feel he had to tiptoe around my feelings. "You can keep me company while I pack, though."

"Sure." I followed him into the bedroom. He took out a suitcase, opened it, and began to place articles of clothing on the bed. Underwear, suit, shirts, and ties. Shoes. "Where are you going?"

"Seattle." He smiled a little.

"Do you need rain gear?"

"If I do, I'll buy it there."

"Uh… Wills?" I swallowed and studied the toiletry kit he had just put in the suitcase. He'd have an electric shaver in there, pre-shave, aftershave, deodorant, toothbrush and toothpaste, dental floss… and I swallowed again. I was putting off the inevitable. "If… if you see some cute guy while you're in Seattle… "

"Yeah?"

"I… It's… it'sokayifyoufuckhim," I finished in a rush.

Every line in his body became stiff, and he stopped packing. "What?" His voice was very quiet.

"I said… " Oh, god, he was going to make me repeat it? "I said if you… "

"I heard what you said." The heel of his hand hit my shoulder, causing me to rock backward. "And while I'm in Seattle, fucking 'some cute guy', what will you be doing, Theo?"

"What?"

"Will you be fucking some guy also?"

I stared at him, my mouth opening and closing, but unable to get a word out.

"Is that the kind of relationship you want?"

I shook my head.

"Is that the kind of relationship you think I want?"

"I don't know. I've… I've never been in a relationship before."

"Theo… "

"I… I don't want to lose you, Wills. I'm afraid if I hold onto you as tight as I want to, I will."

He came to stand in front of me. He took my arms and put them around him, then put his arms around me. "Hold me." I held him. "Is that as tight as you want?"

"No." I could barely choke out the word.

"Then hold me as tight as you want."

I tightened my grip, waiting for him to protest, but he just stepped closer to me. "I'll leave bruises on you."

"I don't care. You're my lover and my partner, just as I'm yours. Baby, I've had sex with no strings… "

"Oh, yeah? Who with?"

He gave me a look. Oh, he meant girls. I blew out a breath.

"… and if that was what I wanted, do you think I would have brought you to meet my family or moved in with you? I love you."

I still wasn't holding him as tightly as I wanted to, but I leaned my forehead against his forehead. "There are strings involved?"

"In what we have? You'd better believe it, and not just strings but ropes, cables. Chains, even."

"I like that idea." I liked it more than I could tell him, probably more than I should. I brushed my lips across his. "Can I… can I call you while you're gone?"

"I was hoping you would. In the evening, okay?"

"Around bedtime?"

"Yeah." His cock nudged my hip.

"Phone sex, Wills?"

"Oh, yeah. I'd like that."

"When… " I cleared my throat. "When do you have to leave?"

"As soon as I'm done packing."

"Okay." That was short notice, but I guessed computers could break down any time, day or night. I blew out another breath. "But promise me one thing?"

"I'll be back."

"Think you can read my mind?"

"Can't I?"

"Yeah." I slid my hand around his neck and brought his mouth to mine. "Take care of yourself all right?"

"You bet. Look what I'll be coming home to."

****

We spoke every night except for a forty-eight hour period when he told me he'd be working nonstop and would be unable to call, and thirteen days, nine hours, and twenty-seven minutes – not that I was counting – after he left, he walked back in the door.

"God, I'm glad to be home." He dropped his suitcase on the floor and walked into my arms. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, baby." I was surprised at how tight his grip on me was. "How did the job go?"

"It went. I hate this type of job." His face was etched in lines of exhaustion.

"I would have met you at the airport… "

"I know." He let me go and stepped back. I couldn't remember him looking so wiped out. "I had to stop at work to file my report."

"Why don't you go take a shower? I wasn't sure what time you'd get in, so I didn't make anything, but I have some leftover Chinese. I'll nuke you a plate."

"Thanks, Theo." He swayed for a second.

"Go on, shower. I'll get your suitcase."

"Thanks," he mumbled again.

I went into the bathroom ahead of him and turned on the shower, making sure the water was as hot as he liked it, but not hot enough to scald him.

In the bedroom, he shed his suit jacket, carefully removed the shoulder holster and the weapon it held and tucked it into a box on a shelf in the closet, then stripped off his clothes, letting them fall to the floor. He made his way into the bathroom, and I admired the pale curves of his ass.

"Don't fall asleep and drown in there!" I called after him, smiling.

My smile faded as I stared at the clothes on the floor. Leaving them lying in a heap was something Wills never did. I hoped this job got him at least a bonus.

I shook my head and emptied his suitcase, sorting the clothes that needed to be washed or sent to the cleaners. There was a bag with the words 'Rubber Rainbow Condom Company, Seattle, WA' on it, and I emptied it onto the bed. Packets of condoms, all different colors, all different textures, all different flavors. I grinned and put them back in the bag, and put the bag aside for the time being.

I reached for a pair of jeans that he must have bought in Seattle, because I knew he hadn't packed jeans. There was a dark stain on the thigh, and I frowned at it. It almost looked like… No, I hadn't been so enthralled with my lover's ass that I wouldn't have noticed a bandage on his leg. Not paint… It was probably oil. Or whatever it was he used to fix computers.

My hand brushed against something in a pocket of the suitcase. It was hard and square, and curious, I pulled it out – a jeweler's box. I pressed the catch. The lid popped open to reveal a pair of gold stud earrings with red stones shaped like… hearts. Surrounding the hearts were diamond chips.

I knew a little something about jewelry, and yeah, those chips were diamonds. These earrings hadn't been cheap.

You are not going to question who these are for! I ordered myself, forgetting about the stain on the jeans. They could be for Jill, or for Alice, or even Marti. Her ears are pierced. Now stop being so paranoid and go get the man you love some food! I closed the box and set it down on the dresser, then put the suitcase away and went to the kitchen.

When Wills didn't turn up after twenty minutes, I became concerned. He never took that long in the shower unless I was in there with him. I went looking for him.

He was sprawled across the bed, naked, his cock nestled on his thigh and his shorts in one hand, out cold. Neither thigh bore a fresh injury.

"Oh, babe." I took the shorts from his hand and wrestled him around until I could get him under the covers.

"Theo?"

"Yeah, Wills."

"Sorry… "

"It's okay. Go back to sleep."

His breath whispered out in a sigh.

I went to the kitchen, covered his dinner in plastic wrap and put it in the fridge, then turned off all the lights in the apartment, stripped off my clothes, and got into bed beside him.

For the first time in almost fourteen days, I anticipated a good night's sleep.

A couple of hours later I woke up to what sounded like castanets rattling. "What the… "

Wills must have kicked off the coverlet and sheet, which was odd, because he wasn't usually a restless sleeper, and he was shivering violently.

"Easy, babe. Take it easy." I drew the covers back up around the two of us and pulled him against me.

"Theo?"

"Yeah."

He sighed. "I'm home."

"You're home, babe. That must have been a rough job."

"Had to get done. Set the alarm?" He rubbed his cheek against my arm.

"You won't need an alarm. I plan on waking you up with a Bascopolis special – blowjob or fuck, whatever is your pleasure."

"Either one is special, Theo."

I kissed the hinge of his jaw. "You sweet-talker, you. Go back to sleep."

****

I pretreated the stain on the jeans. It must have been some kind of water-soluble oil or something, because it came right out. Once they came out of the dryer, I folded them and put them away, and didn't think about them again.

However, as much as I'd determined not to worry about those earrings, I couldn't seem to stop myself. I worried about them while I was at the butcher, picking up a couple of thick T-bones that I planned to broil for dinner, while I was at the florist, picking up an arrangement of summer flowers for the dining room table, while I was at the local pharmacy, picking up a supply of lube. We didn't need condoms. Wills had brought plenty back with him.

It would be nice to stop having that barrier between us, I thought wistfully. What would Wills think if I broached the subject? I hadn't slept with anyone but him since the night I'd met him, and he…

I hated it, but I just didn't know.

I knew from Vince that Wills' job could call him away frequently. How could he not fuck his way across the United States? After all, we had sex two and three times a night. He couldn't just stop while he was away from me, could he? Any good-looking guy…

And it didn't have to be guys. He had fucked girls at one point. He could go back to fucking girls. Maybe that was who those earrings were for, some girl who had caught his eye…

I scrubbed two Idaho potatoes raw, punctured their skins with vicious jabs, and put them in the oven to bake. I tore lettuce leaves to shreds and chopped olives, radishes, onions, and Greek peppers into miniscule bits for a salad.

I went still when I heard his key in the door.

"Hey, babe… "

I wasn't going to ask. I wasn't going to ask.

"Who are those earrings for?" Oh, fuck. I cleared my throat.

"Oh, you saw them?" He didn't look uncomfortable, or guilty. I hadn't thought he was such a good actor.

"Yeah, I saw them." I scowled at him.

"What did you think of them?"

"Very pretty."

"Pretty? Are they too girl-y?"

"I hadn't given it much thought," I lied. My nails bit into my palms to keep from slugging him. "Now, who the fuck are they for?"

He blinked. "Who do you think?"

"Matheson!"

"Geez, babe, they're for you!"

"What? For me?"

"Yeah. I saw them in this little shop on Broadway in Capitol Hill in Seattle, and I thought of you."

"You thought… " He'd brought a present back for me?

"Hold on a sec." He disappeared, to return almost immediately. He pressed the catch of the jeweler's case and held it out to me. "I'd have gotten you rubies – they would have gone really well with your coloring – but they aren't your birthstone."

"So these are garnets."

"Yeah. You can wear one in your right ear and keep the other as a spare." He removed the platinum stud I wore and replaced it with the garnet and diamond heart.

"Oh, babe. I didn't expect… " I touched my ear. "Thank you." I pulled him into my arms, and whatever he was going to say in reply was muffled by my mouth.

tbc