The Light in Your Eyes

By Tinnean

Chapter 14

Sex was a good way to relax. I was in the bathroom, adjusting the shower, when he strolled in, naked and aroused. "Do we have time?"

I didn't answer, just stripped off my clothes, leaving them scattered over the floor, and pulled him into the shower after me.

I wanted to take my time, but there wasn't time. Our cocks lined up together, enclosed by my fist, and I pumped strongly. His eyes closed, his lips parted. I watched passion chase across his features. He leaned his forehead against mine, shivered and groaned.

Wham, bam, and we were both coming.

"I'm sorry, babe." I soaped up a bath sponge and began running it over his chest.

"Why?" Wills leaned back against the tiles and caught his breath.

"I rushed it… "

"Do you hear me complaining?" There was a sated grin on his face.

"No, but… "

"Theo, you can make it up to me later."

"Yeah?"

"You bet your ass."

"Okay. Turn around and let me get your back."

I loved his back. Well, except for the scar that was a constant reminder of how close he'd come to dying. It was almost as thick as my thumb and pale, glassy. If he hadn't told me it was from a piece of flying metal, I would have sworn it was a burn.

I moved down to the taut curves of his ass cheeks. No other man's ass had ever affected me like his did. I wanted to bite it, mark it, bury my cock in it.

As if he knew where my thoughts had gone, Wills spread his legs and angled back toward me. I ran my thumb over the crevice that separated his cheeks, over his hole, down to the balls that hung between his thighs.

"God, you're beautiful!" I nipped his unmarked shoulder blade. "And I'd better get out and get dressed… "

"Do you have to?"

"… or Casey will find us like this."

"I guess you have to."

I left him standing in front of the mirror, running the electric shaver over his cheeks and humming the song we'd programmed into the door chimes.

Back in the kitchen, I made sure nothing had burned or scorched. I put the salad together. I shaped the biscuits, put them in the oven.

That interlude had helped, but nerves were getting the better of me again.

I filled a silver pitcher with water, added ice cubes.

Was Acacia aware of what gay men did together? Would she be revolted by it?

I thickened the liquid the stew had been simmering in.

What would my lover think of my little sister? What would she think of him?

I ran a hand through my hair, bit down so hard on my lip I hurt myself.

What would she think of me?

I began to pace.

It had been twelve years since I'd seen Acacia. She had only been eight years old. She'd loved me then, but suppose she didn't any more? Suppose she thought Poppa had the right idea and didn't want me as her brother any more?

I took out the tureen I intended to use for the stifado.

Suppose…

The doorbell rang, and I dropped the tureen. It hit the floor, sounding like an explosion. I stared at the broken pieces that were scattered around me.

Wills came running in. "What… "

"I dropped it."

"Looks like it."

The doorbell rang again.

"That must be Casey."

He kissed me and murmured, "It will be okay. Take a minute to collect yourself; I'll answer the door." He looked down at the broken pieces of crockery. "Don't cut your fingers on that."

"I won't. Wills?"

"Yeah?"

"Next time you kiss me… I want it with tongue."

He grinned and left the room. As I gathered up the pieces of broken tureen and dropped them into the garbage, I heard him open the door, heard the rumble of his voice as he introduced himself.

I drew a couple of deep breaths, trying to steady my nerves, then went to greet the sister I hadn't seen in twelve years.

"Casey!"

She turned toward me, a hesitant smile on her lips. She was tall for a girl. Her hair hung in black waves down her back. Her eyes were the same light brown as mine. Beside her…

I came to such an abrupt halt I nearly tripped over my feet.

Standing beside my sister was our… her father.

"Do you want me to throw him out, babe?" Wills asked, his voice low, but as hard as the expression in his eyes.

I stared at my sister, feeling betrayed.

"Teodore, please." Acacia looked unhappy, and she hurried to explain. "Poppa found one of your letters to me and made me tell him where you were. He wanted to see you!"

"Why?" I knew what he thought of me, and I couldn't bear to meet his eyes, to see the disdain that must be in them. "Does he need money?" I wanted to hurt him as badly as he'd hurt me, and so I struck out at his pride.

"I do not need your money, Teodore."

"Is someone dying, then? I mean, twelve years, Poppa! You never felt the need to see me in all that time, so why now?"

"I did not know where you were. Your sister knew. Even your mother knew. But me, I was left in the dark." There was bitterness in his voice, which was rising, and he drew a deep breath. "You have every right to be resentful, my son, but I, too, have this right."

"Oh, no. You just hold on. You have no right to resent me! You told me you no longer had a son. You told me if I didn't stop being gay, you wanted me out of your house. You told me…" It was killing me, repeating what he'd told me.

"Teodore, how many times did you refuse to listen to what I said? And this one time, you chose to listen? Basta! I am Greek. You know the temper we Greeks have. I never wanted you to leave."

I felt as if I'd been punched in the chest. "You never… ?" I could have howled and torn my hair.

"But you ran out of the house, and I would not permit myself to look for you, no matter how your mother pleaded with me. Pride, eh?"

"You brush it off to pride?" Wills' face was flushed. I'd never seen him look so furious, not even when he'd confronted me after I had broken up with him over his answering machine. "Do you have any idea what your words did to Theo? What they cost him? He… "

I nudged him and when I had his attention, shook my head. My family didn't know that for more than twelve years I'd sold my body in order to survive, and I didn't want them to ever know that. Better they thought whatever it was they thought.

Wills shut up, but I could see he was still pissed.

"Teodore," Poppa tried to smile, "please, could you ask your friend to perhaps put away his gun?"

I laughed, realizing only after the sound came out of my mouth how hysterical I must seem. How had I not seen the gun in Wills' hand?

Wills stalked off. Yeah, he was pissed.

"Excuse us a minute, please." I went after him.

He was in the bedroom, and he threw a glance at me. "Your father's going to think we're having wild monkey sex in here, you know."

"Then he'll be disabused when we come out in a minute, looking none the worse for wear, I might add."

"Damn. And here I was hoping for a quickie." He put his gun on the dresser.

"Wills, behave. We had a quickie earlier, in the bathroom."

"So? I'm up for another one."

"Oh, I am so going to fuck your brains out when Acacia and my father leave."

"You're not going to offer them a place to stay for the night?"

"No."

"Listen, Theo, I really can go somewhere else if you want them to stay."

He didn't want to stay here? Was he looking for an excuse to leave? "Where? A motel?"

"Probably." The only thing that kept me from smacking him was the unhappy expression on his face. "I think there's a Motel 6 a couple of miles down the road. Or maybe it's a Marriott."

"Or there's Vince." He hadn't had much luck finding a new place. I didn't say anything, but I knew that unlike the last time he'd lived in the attic apartment, this time he occasionally invited someone… a male someone… to stay over.

"Not a helpful suggestion, Theo."

"I don't want you to leave. This is your apartment, too, you know."

"Theo, the last thing you're going to want is to flaunt your lover in your father's face. I can throw a change of clothes in a tote. Hell, I can pack for a few days. If he stays longer… fuck it, I can go to Sears and buy more clothes, or… " Did he realize he was rambling? "I know how to use a washer and dryer, and most motels have a utility room somewhere on the premises."

"Wills… "

"I'd need to bring my briefcase, and my laptop. The table's already set for three, I can just… "

"You can just nothing!" I smacked his shoulder. "You're part of my life, an important part, and if my father can't accept that, if he can't accept that I'm gay… "

"What? Theo… "

"You're not going anywhere, tough guy. You got that?"

He sighed and leaned into me. "I love when you get masterful!"

"Damn straight you do!" I kissed him. "And just promise me one thing."

"Anything. I'll even marry you." A blush ran from the open-necked collar of his shirt, up past his cheeks.

"You've been watching The Big Chill again, haven't you?" That was one of his favorite movies, and he'd often quote lines from it. I rubbed my thumb over his lips, hoping it would distract him. "Poppa's gonna know I was kissing you." I didn't let him see how much I would like to have him tied to me with legal bonds.

"Fuck him."

"I'd really rather you didn't, babe." I brushed my groin back and forth against his, lost in a fantasy of us living together, growing old together.

"Theo. If you keep this up, I'm going to muss you, and your father will really have something to disapprove!"

Reality crashed down on me, and I sighed.

"Now what is it that you don't want me to do?"

"Just don't shoot him, babe." I couldn't resist a final kiss, and I went back inside.

My father and sister were still in the foyer. Casey looked a little flustered.

"I'm sorry I kept you waiting. Please, come in."

"May we see the rest of your apartment?"

"Sure." I led them through the living room, showed them the adjoining offices, and the spare bedroom, which had once been Paul's. "That's our bedroom." I nodded toward the closed door. "And here we have the dining room. The kitchen is just through there."

"This is a very large apartment, for just two men. You share the rent?"

"Yeah." I didn't tell him I owned the house, and I didn't tell him it wasn't the rent but the mortgage we shared. I'd been surprised the first time I'd gone into my checking account after Wills had moved in and found a credit I couldn't account for. He'd instructed his bank to deposit a portion of his pay check electronically into my account every month. 'You don't want me to feel like you're keeping me, do you, babe?' he'd asked when I'd questioned him about it. I'd grinned and said, 'Of course not.' I'd pushed thoughts of the expensive gifts I'd given him, the furniture I'd bought for his office, out of my mind.

"Uh… you have been with this William Matheson for long, Teodore?"

"A few months."

"How well do you know him?"

"Well enough, Poppa."

"What I am asking is – why does your… friend feel the need to be armed?"

I shrugged. "He doesn't talk about it."

"I hope he is not involved in something shady."

"Like what, Poppa?"

"Drugs. Organized crime. Your Uncle Lykaios… "

"Uncle Lykaios was a hitman, Poppa. Wills is a white collar worker, a computer geek. He troubleshoots computers."

"If you say so." Poppa shrugged. "I just… I do not want you endangered, my son."

"I won't be in any danger because of Wills," I snapped, my hands clenched into fists. Did he have any idea how much danger I'd been in after he'd thrown me out? Oh, no, that was right, he hadn't been expecting me to take him at his word. I tried to stifle the resentment I felt at that.

"Something smells good," Acacia said, stepping between us and trying to lighten the mood.

"I made stifado."

"Ma's recipe? How did you get that? She won't even let me stay in the kitchen when she's making it!"

"Ma always liked me best?" It was meant as a joke, one we had shared when we were younger, but there was an element of truth behind it.

"Oh, you!" She turned to Wills, who had just entered the room, and explained. "We used to listen to the Smothers Brothers albums when we were young."

"It was my album. Ma had fits when you would listen to it!"

Poppa offered a smile that almost seemed… hopeful? "I have brought a good wine, then, I think. Gaia. It's the bottle your grandpa saved for you." He held the bottle out to me.

"And you never opened it?"

"My son, it was yours."

"Thank you, Poppa."

"You will forgive me for my foolish, prideful, hot-headedness?"

I thought of what I'd gone through all those years because of his 'foolish, prideful, hot-headedness,' and I wanted to throw his words in his face. I felt Wills' eyes on me, and I knew that whatever I chose to do, he would back me.

All those years… I thought briefly about them. They had brought me to this time, to this place, to this man.

"Yes, Poppa." What else could I say? "I will."

****

It wasn't the most comfortable dinner party I'd ever hosted, but eventually it wound to an end.

"Your mother wishes to see you. And your friend."

"I'll see what I can arrange. Our schedules… "

He frowned when I didn't make more definite plans. "William." He extended his hand. "We Bascopolis men can be very stubborn. Please. You will talk to him, yes?"

Wills accepted his hand. "I'll talk to him."

Acacia hugged me. "Please come home for a visit. Momma misses you so much!" She hugged Wills and kissed his cheek. "Welcome to the family, brother."

"I hope to see you soon, my son."

I waited to see what he would do, if he would offer to hug me. He hesitated for a moment, then held out his hand, and I felt deflated.

"Sure, Poppa. Soon."

They left, and I went into the dining room and began clearing the coffee cups off the table. Wills took the dessert plates and silverware into the kitchen.

"Your sister is nice." He rinsed off a plate and put it in the dishwasher.

"She always was." Although with seven years between us, we hadn't hung out together or had mutual friends.

"Your father is… "

"I don't want to talk about him, babe."

"Do you think he needs to be punished more?"

"I don't… "

"You still don't forgive him?"

That hadn't been what I was going to say, but, "Yes. No. Shit. I don't know, Wills. Would you?"

"He's not my father."

"Wills… "

"I don't know." He met my eyes. "I probably would."

I stiffened and turned away, feeling hurt and somehow betrayed. His arms came around me.

"But I'd never forget, babe." He rubbed his cheek against my hair. "And… "

"And?"

"And I think… no, I know it would affect our relationship for the rest of our lives. But as I said, he's not my father. Whatever you choose to do, Theo, you know I'll be there for you."

"If I said I wanted nothing to do with him?"

"It's your call. I'll back you up. I think you love him, otherwise I would have… " He bit off the rest of his words, lipped my left earlobe, the one that didn't have an earring, and released me, turning back to pick up another plate and put it in the dishwasher.

He was right, I did still love my father. I scuffed my shoe on the floor, not bothering to follow up on whatever it was he would have done.

"Whatever you decide, babe, you can still go home to visit your mother."

I sucked in a startled breath. "You're right!" So much had happened in the past few months, since I'd met him.

"Theo?"

I shook my head, dazed by the thought that now I really could go home. "Y'know something, Wills? I think you're my good luck charm."

"Oh, yeah? I kind of like that. But how so?"

"Well, you're the one who found out I hadn't killed Franky, so I could go home. And then my sister and father turned up, and Poppa actually invited me home… "

"When do you want to go? I can arrange to take some time off, but I'll need to notify Mr. Vincent… "

"You'll come with me?"

"Of course. Unless… unless you don't want me to come?"

I shoved the dishwasher racks into the machine and shut the door, then grabbed his hand and started dragging him out of the kitchen.

"Hey! the dishes!"

"Leave them. I'll take care of them tomorrow. Tonight… I'm going to make you come tonight."

A wide smile parted his lips, he tossed aside the dishcloth, and suddenly I found myself being dragged along behind him.

****

True to his word, Wills took off a few days, and I brought him home to meet my mother.

"The house is nothing like yours," I told him on the flight into St. Petersburg. I was in the window seat, and I couldn't stop fidgeting. It was just a small, three bedroom house, and it only had one bathroom.

"Doesn't matter, babe," he replied. "It's where you grew up. Drink your coffee."

"I'd have rather had a Scotch," I muttered.

"It's too early in the day."

"No, it's not!"

"You don't want to show up on your mother's doorstep drunk, do you?" He took my hand and wound his fingers in mine.

"No, but… "

He brought my hand to his mouth. "Then… "

"Hmph!" A pair of disapproving eyes peered over the back of the seat ahead of mine. "Fags!"

"May I suggest you mind your own business, sir?" Wills' words were soft, but I was startled by the steel in them.

The man turned pale and slunk back down in his seat, and I blinked. What had caused the color to leach from his face?

"Now, as I was saying, babe, drink your coffee before the nice flight attendant has to collect the cups."

I raised the cup to my lips. I had other things to worry about than a homophobic asshole. How was Ma going to react when I told her we wouldn't be spending the night? In spite of that third bedroom, we'd decided… well, I'd decided, that the best thing to do would be to check into the local Holiday Inn. Wills had just rubbed my shoulder and said, 'Whatever you want, babe.'

Once we landed in St. Pete, Wills rented a car. "Uh… A Jaguar, babe?"

"I want to make a good impression." He grinned, and my cock twitched. "Come on, Theo. Let's hit the road."

Casey was just leaving the house as Wills pulled up to the curb. She gave a long whistle. "That is one beautiful car! It's a shame you're gay, Wills. I'd marry you myself."

"Behave, Acacia. The man is mine." I pinched her chin.

"You lucky devil." She kissed me.

"Were you going somewhere?"

"Poppa's down at the docks, and I just wanted to give you some time alone with Momma. We'll be back in time for dinner."

"Okay. We'll see you later. Come on. We'll go in through the back way."

The door was standing open, and I hesitated for a moment, then rapped on the doorframe.

"Come in! Come in!"

We walked into the kitchen. "Hello, Ma." She'd gotten so tiny. I hugged her gently.

Ma cried all over me. "Oh, my son! You've grown into such a handsome man!"

"I've missed you." I pulled Wills forward. "This is William Matheson. He's my… my… "

"Welcome, William. Are you Greek Orthodox?"

"No, ma'am. I'm afraid not."

"Ma!" My face felt hot, and I wanted to sink into the ground.

"Hush, my son. If he is to be my son-in-law… "

"I'm sorry if that matters to you, Mrs. Bascopolis."

She sighed. "Ah, well. No one is perfect. Perhaps you would consider converting?"

There was an expression I'd never seen on his face before, but it was gone before I could identify it. "I'd like to find a religion that would accept me."

"You will find Father Adoni quite understanding and modern in his outlook." She smiled and kissed him.

I looked down at my hands, which were knotted at my side. I didn't tell her that no matter how 'understanding and modern' Father Adoni was, the Church would still look upon my relationship with Wills as sinful and a failure.

Wills reached over and closed his hand on mine, so much understanding in his eyes. The tension eased out of me, and I turned my hand over to grip his.

"Now, come." Ma was nodding in approval. "Sit. Dinner will be ready in a little while."

"It smells very good, Mrs. Bascopolis."

"I am making stifado. Acacia told me that Teodore made this dish when she and her Poppa presented themselves on your doorstep. You must tell me how it compares to my son's."

"I'm looking forward to trying it." He gave my hand a final, reassuring squeeze before letting it go. "If I might wash my hands?"

"Certainly. The bathroom is right through there and to your right." She waited until he left the room. "You understand I had nothing to do with that, don't you, Teo? With your Poppa showing up like that? I didn't even know Eryx was going to do that."

"It was okay, Ma."

"No, it was not okay. After what he did, what he said… " Her lips tightened. "Teo, you are… you are happy in this life you chose?"

"Momma, I didn't choose it. It's just the way I am. But, yes, I am happy."

"And this William, he is good to you?"

I fingered the garnet and diamond heart in my ear. "He's very good to me, Ma."

"And he… he loves you?"

"Yes." He told me so often enough, in spite of the fact that I so rarely said it.

"A mother cannot ask for more than that her children are happy and loved. Now come, tell me everything."

I opened my mouth, then closed it.

"Oh, I know what you have been doing over the years, Acacia has shared your letters with me. What I want to know is how you met, how you fell in love."

I smiled at her and put my arm around her shoulders, leading her to the sofa in the living room. "Well, you see, Ma. A friend of mine was beat up, and … "

****

"Kali oreksi!" Ma exclaimed as we sat down to eat.

"Kali oreksi," I responded reflexively, my voice joining Poppa's and Acacia's. "It means eat well," I murmured to Wills, who was sitting to my right.

He smiled and repeated, "Kali oreksi."

Poppa took a portion of the stifado and then passed the tureen to Wills and poured himself a glass of red wine, then did the same for Ma. "Wine, William? Teodore?"

I nodded, and he filled my glass.

"Thank you, no. I don't drink when I'll be driving."

Ma frowned. "Then you could stay here the night."

"Thank you for the kind offer, Mrs. Bascopolis, but we'll need to leave early in the morning, and this way we won't disturb anyone. Thank you, Acacia." He smiled at my sister, who'd put a glass of iced tea before him, then offered the tureen to Ma.

"No, no, you are our guest. I wish you could stay longer."

"So do I." He gave her a charming smile. How could any woman resist it? How could any man?

"Unfortunately," I lied, "Wills could only get a couple of days off and we have to be back in DC tomorrow."