The Light in Your Eyes

By Tinnean

Chapter 18

The newly re-opened and refurbished fireplace had a fire screen, solid brass and black tool set, wood basket, and andirons. Bricks more than a hundred years old were given a coat of white paint. The new mantle was a rich, golden oak, and the surround was granite with hints of red. The old, pitted firebox was replaced with a new one, and the chimney was cleaned and repaired.

Charles, the architect, completed it, with a couple of days to spare.

Not that meeting the deadline mattered. Wills had called the day after it was finished to let me know he'd run into a snag, and the job was going to take a little longer.

"Thanks for letting me know." I hoped he didn't hear how disappointed I was. "Watch out for those Midwest farm boys. They look all innocent, but they're not."

"I promise I'll be careful, Theo," he laughed, "but it shouldn't be a problem. They're not you."

He said the most romantic things.

"I miss you, babe."

"I miss you too."

I wanted to tell him I loved him, but the words were stuck in my throat, and then he said, "I've gotta go now, Theo. Bye," and he hung up.

Well, every time he said 'I love you,' I'd say 'me too,' so he knew I loved him, and that was what was important.

The next morning I went down to one of the lots that had sprung up the day after Thanksgiving and would vanish the day after Christmas. I picked out a nice blue spruce, thick and lush and about six feet tall, and bought yards and yards of pine garlands that would be tacked to the crown molding. I'd do the decorating myself. I didn't want Wills in the living room until Christmas.

The man who took my money had one of his boys tie the tree to the roof of the Corvair – the knots had to be undone once because he'd tied the doors closed with me outside – while I put the garland in the tiny trunk.

Once home, I hauled the tree up the stairs and into the living room, then retrieved the live garland before going back down to put the car away.

Next year, I promised myself as I took out the boxes that held the ornaments, tinsel garlands, and lights, and then plugged in the lights before stringing them on the tree, to make sure they were all working. Next year we'd do the tree together – string the lights, hang the decorations, maybe mull some wine or have hot cocoa with peppermint candy canes sticking out of the mugs, and then we'd make love on the rug in front of the fireplace.

My stomach rumbled, and I realized the afternoon had flown by and it was past dinner time. I wasn't really in the mood to cook just for myself, but I didn't want to go out either, not even for take out. I took a container of tomato sauce from the freezer. The label on it said there were two meatballs and a sweet sausage in it also. I stuck it in the microwave to defrost, and started a pot of water boiling for the angel hair pasta I intended to have for dinner.

While the oven was preheating for the garlic bread, I went to take a shower and change my clothes. Tree sap had gotten all over my jeans, but I'd been expecting that, and so had worn old ones I kept for chores around the house.

Back in the kitchen, I put the garlic bread in the oven, broke the pasta in two and dropped it into the boiling water, and made a salad. Within fifteen minutes, dinner was ready. I poured myself a glass of Chianti and ate in the kitchen.

I didn't like eating alone. I'd had to often when I'd lived with Franky, but before that there had always been Ma and Acacia and Poppa, and after that there had been the boys, Tim and Paul and Cris and the rest of them. And now, of course, there was Wills.

Dammit, I missed him so much, and I wanted him home.

I cleaned up the mess in the kitchen, filled the dishwasher, and took my wine and went into the living room.

I had a fire going in the fireplace. The architect had suggested using it to make sure it was in working order. Wills wouldn't be home for a few more days, so I'd have time to get the smell of smoke out of the apartment.

It was dark, but I didn't turn on the lamps. I plugged in the tree lights instead, and sat on the couch, admiring the tree and the warm glow from the fireplace, and sipped my wine and stared at the flames.

How would Wills react to this gift?

I smiled to myself and took another sip and imagined him tearing off his clothes and mine, and jumping my bones.

My cock was half hard, and I stroked my palm over it. Yes, that would be a suitable reaction.

The combination of the heat and the wine made me drowsy.

The phone rang, and I picked it up. "Hello."

"Hi, babe."

"Wills! I was just thinking of you!" I put my wine down and pressed the heel of my hand harder against the front of my slacks.

"Talk about great minds." There was a smile in his voice. "I was thinking of you too. I miss you, Theo."

"Will you be able to come home soon?"

"In a day or so, I think."

Sooner than I had thought. My cock got harder.

"God, I'll be glad to get home. There are just some loose ends that need to be tied up now, but once that's done… "

"I'm so glad. Did you have dinner?"

"Yeah." He sighed. "The menu said it was spaghetti and meatballs, but it tasted like something from a can. Nothing like yours, babe."

"I knew it," I teased. "You only love me for my cooking."

"Among other things." He chuckled. "Hey, it wasn't easy to find someone who looks as good as you and who can cook as good as my Mom."

A blush warmed my cheeks. Other men had told me I looked good, but it had never meant as much to me. I glanced at the clock I'd placed on the mantel. It was a little before 10, but with the two hour time difference, that made it only about 8 in St. Paul. "Uh… Wills… "

"Yeah?"

"Where are you?"

"I told you. I'm in … "

"No. I mean… are you in your hotel room?"

"Yeah. I am."

I put my feet up on the coffee table, making myself comfortable. "Where are you in your hotel room?"

"Ah." There was a smile in his voice. "I'm lying on the bed."

"What are you wearing?"

"I just got in. I took off my jacket and my shoes, but otherwise I'm still dressed."

"Would you… would you take off your clothes?"

He didn't answer, but the phone must have been close to his throat. I heard the slither of his tie as he pulled it out of his collar. ''Okay, and I'm unbuttoning my shirt now."

"Are you wearing an undershirt?"

"Yeah. It's cold here, and I need all the layers I can get."

"Take them off."

"Hold on a second. I want to turn the heat up."

"I'll turn it up, babe."

"You already have."

I closed my eyes and pictured his lips parting, his tongue slipping out to touch his lip.

"I have to put the phone down." The sound of clothing rustling came over the line, and I licked my own lips, the image of my lover reaching for the hem of his undershirt to pull it off over his head unfolding behind my eyes.

I lowered my fly and freed my cock from my shorts and slacks. The warm air of the room flowed over it. With my eyes closed, the feeling was intensified.

Wills came back on the line. "Okay. My shirt and undershirt are off."

"Are your nipples hard?"

"Yeah, and getting harder. So is my cock. It's pushing against my pants. Just the thought of you… " His voice was a little hoarse.

"Unzip your fly." In the silence that followed, I could hear him following my instructions.

"What now, babe?"

"Did you take off your pants?"

"Not… "

"Do it. Are you wearing the boxer briefs I gave you? Take them off too. I want you naked." I opened my eyes. The tip of my cock was slick with precome.

"I have to… I have to put the phone down again."

"Keep it as close to you as you can. I want to hear you." I ran my thumb over the slit and spread the moisture.

His breathing was becoming raspy. "Okay. I've… "

"Are your socks still on?"

"No. If I'd worn the white ones… " He knew how turned on I got when he wore those.

"Never mind. Dark socks are too cheesy porn. Lie down on the bed. Spread your legs. Tell me what your cock looks like."

"Hard. Red. Shiny with precome. God, it's dripping down my shaft. I want you so badly… The vein underneath is bulging. I've pulled my cock back so I can see it."

"You gonna try to catch it in your mouth when you come?" My cock twitched at the idea. The first time he'd jerked himself off with me watching and running my fingertips over his thighs, his mouth had been opened wide as he'd gasped for breath, and although it had been unintentional, he'd got a mouthful.

"If I don't hit myself in the eye this time." He'd done that once, unintentionally, too.

I couldn't laugh; I was too close to the edge.

I wanted to hear him jerk off, wanted to hear the slick sounds as he fisted his cock, wanted to hear his moans and whimpers and the hitch in his voice as he came closer and closer to climaxing.

I wanted him here with me. "Did you bring lube with you?" I circled my cock, pulled on it with long, languorous strokes.

There was sudden silence over the phone, and then, "No," he snapped curtly. "Theo, I had no intention of… "

Damn. I'd jerked him out of the fantasy. "I'm sorry, Wills. I didn't mean… I don't want you to get irritated."

"Too late for that."

"Ah, babe… " Why was he so angry?

"No. Let's face it. We both know I'm such a slut for cock that I can't do without it for a day, let alone a week. Let me think. How many guys have I let fuck me so far… One, Theo. You!" There was the hitch in his voice, but it wasn't the one I'd wanted to hear, and I realized he wasn't angry, he was hurt.

"Oh, Wills, I'm so sorry." What had happened? How had this turned to shit? "I didn't mean… "

"Didn't you? You're always expecting me to… I can't talk to you now. My… my cell is ringing."

I hadn't heard his phone, but before I could beg him not to hang up, he had. "Goddammit. Way to go, Bascopolis. Talk about ruining the mood."

Should I wait for him to cool off and call me back?

No, I needed to talk to him now.

Call ID read 'Unknown Name, Unknown Number.' I pressed *69, to find the call was blocked. What the fuck?

I tried his cell phone and was shunted directly to his voice mail. "This is Matheson. You know the drill. Go."

The same thing that had been on his answering machine before he'd moved in with me. Before he'd told me he…

I hung up.

My dick was still hanging out, but it was limp, and I tucked it away. I couldn't get in touch with Wills at his hotel, I didn't know which one it was or what the phone number was.

What was I supposed to do now? I'd never had a quarrel with a lover before.

I worried my lower lip, wincing when I bit down too hard. I wasn't about to blow the best thing I'd ever had. I'd call Vincent. He was sure to know what hotel Wills was staying at, and he'd probably have the phone number too.

He picked up on the first ring. He always did that, no matter the time of day or night. I'd stopped wondering about it a long time ago.

"Vincent." His voice sounded raspy.

"Um… Vince? It's me. Theo. Did I wake you?"

"Bascopolis? No, but in about two seconds you would have."

"I'm sorry."

"Never mind. What's wrong?"

"It's… I did something really dumb, and I… "

"You haven't started tricking again, have you?"

I was insulted. "I said dumb, not insane. I haven't tricked since I met Wills."

"Okay. So what did you do?"

"I said something that Wills took the wrong way, and he hung up on me. I can't call his hotel because I don't know where he's staying, *69 doesn't work, and it comes up as Unknown on Call ID."

"Jesus. I assume you tried his cell phone."

"Yeah. It went to voice mail. Do you… do you have the hotel's number?"

"I'd help you if I could, Theo, but when Matheson is in the field, the only way I have to reach him is his cell."

I scrubbed my face. "Okay, Vince. Thanks. I'm sorry I disturbed you."

"Don't worry about it. Just do me a favor and get this straightened out." I thought he muttered something like, 'Before this gets him killed,' but that couldn't have been right.

"Okay. I'll try his cell phone again. G'night, Vince."

"'Night, Theo."

I rubbed my hand over my eyes, then hit speed dial for Wills' cell. "This is Matheson. You know the drill. Go."

I took a breath. "Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it the way it sounded, I swear. Please… please don't… " Throw me away. "… be mad at me. If you… if you leave me, I don't think I could… " I swallowed and cleared my throat. "Call me, okay?"

I checked the time. It would only be about 9 in St. Paul. I'd wait up for his call.

I looked around the living room. The fireplace seemed to mock me. In spite of the fire in it, I felt cold. I turned on the television and put Wills' favorite DVD in the player, wrapped a throw around me, and curled up on the couch, the telephone by my hand.

"Oh, Karen. I'll come," one of the male characters was saying to the woman who'd just remarked they wouldn't be able to get that many people to her funeral. His tone was so smarmy and unctuous I wanted to smack him. "And I'll bring a date!"

Halfway through the movie, I fell asleep.

****

The phone shrilling in my ear woke me. I was tangled in the throw, and I struggled with it, terrified the phone would stop ringing before I could answer it.

"Who… what… hullo?"

"Hi babe."

"Wills! Oh, baby, please, please don't leave me!" I felt nauseous.

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

"Theo, what are you talking about?"

"Didn't … " I blinked, trying to chase the fog of sleep from my brain. " … didn't we have a fight earlier tonight?"

"No."

"What time is it?"

"It's a little after 9 St. Paul time. I just had a late dinner with the regional manager."

"And you had spaghetti and meatballs."

There was a pause. "No. I had teriyaki salmon with pineapple salsa and coconut fried rice."

"Oh, jesus." It had been a nightmare? I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"Theo, I'm not leaving you. Have you got that?"

I took a shuddering breath. "Okay."

"All right. I'm at the airport right now. I'm on my way home."

"But … but the job … "

"I finished earlier than I thought I would."

"That's fantastic, babe." I was almost giddy.

"Know what's even more fantastic? I'm getting a bonus and a commendation!"

"I'm glad they appreciate you."

"I hope you appreciate me too, Bascopolis."

"What?"

"Not only did I eat your mother's stifado, even after your father told me she'd made it with Bugs Bunny, but instead of having a nice, quick, nonstop flight home, I have to make four separate connections, one of them in Cincinnati. If that doesn't say 'I love you,' I don't know what does."

"My mother thanks you, and I thank you. What time will your flight land? I'll come pick you up." Since I'd driven him to Dulles, his car had been parked in front of our building the entire time.

"I'm supposed to get in at 3… "

"That's not too bad."

"PM, babe."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. Anyway, I'll catch a cab. I'll have to go in to work and get the paperwork done, and I'm not sure how long that will take me." There was a muffled sound in the background. "I have to go. They're calling my flight."

"Wills … " I swallowed. "Wills, I … "

"I know, babe. I love you too. I'll see you sometime tomorrow."

"Have a safe flight."

"Thanks. 'Night, Theo."

"G'night, babe." If it wasn't so sappy, I would have blown him a kiss over the phone. Instead, I hung up and used my sleeves to dry my cheeks. I still felt a little sick.

The fire had died out. I made sure there were no live embers, then unplugged the tree lights and took the half-filled glass of wine to the kitchen, where I emptied it into the sink.

I brushed my teeth, stripped and got into bed, and fell asleep with Wills' pillow in my arms.

I didn't dream, but if I did, I didn't remember them.

****

Eighteen hours after I'd last spoken to him, Wills called to let me know his plane had landed.

"Wills … such a long flight!"

"Tell me about it. The runway had to be de-iced, then the jet's wings. One of the passengers had a panic attack and bolted off the jet. Someone thought they heard him say 'bomb,' so everyone had to get off while bomb dogs sniffed the jet."

My gut clenched. "Was there a bomb?"

"Nah. Then we boarded again and had to wait while they got his luggage off."

"That sucks. I'm… I'm glad you're back."

"So am I." He yawned. "Sorry. I've gotta get to work. I'll see you later, babe."

It was after midnight when he came dragging through the door. The living room wasn't lit, but it wasn't in total darkness. The lights on the Christmas tree were blinking blue and red and green and white.

"I'm sorry, babe." Wills yawned so widely I could almost feel the ache in my own jaw. "I really wanted to help you. Something burning?"

"That's just a new candle I was trying out." I intended to block his view of the room, but then I realized it wasn't necessary. His eyes were bleary with fatigue, and even without him having said anything about it, I could tell that job had been one of those that must have been especially rough.

"I like it."

"I'll keep it then. Did you eat anything?"

"Ms. DiNois brought up a sandwich from the cafeteria… I'm pretty sure I ate it." He shrugged. "I must have. I don't feel hungry."

"Why don't you take a shower and hit the sack? You can take a shower without drowning yourself, can't you?"

He swayed on his feet. "Yeah. I'm sorry, Theo."

"Don't worry about it." I touched his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. "Windburn?"

"Huh? Oh. Yeah. Windburn."

I brushed his hair off his forehead, to see it was burned too. Well, Minnesota. The wind coming off whatever Great Lake was bordered by Minnesota. "Go on, babe. I'll turn off the lights."

It didn't take me long. I pulled the plug on the tree and toyed with the idea of opening a window to air out the rest of the smell, but I figured Wills would buy the candle story sooner than any reason I could come up with for an open window in December.

It had been a long eight days, and I'd missed having him in bed. I hadn't even jerked off. I'd taken a page out of my lover's book – delayed gratification.

I went into the bedroom and stripped off my clothes. All I could hear from the bathroom was the sound of the shower running. Usually Wills sang in the shower.

I opened the door and joined him in the shower. He was leaning against the tiles, his head bowed and his eyes closed. He was nearly asleep.

"You really are tired, aren't you, babe?" I petted his arms, his chest, his hips.

"Oh, god!" he groaned. "I've been dreaming of this for the past eight days, and now you're finally touching me, and my dick lays there like a lump. I'm dead. I must be dead. Why haven't I been buried?" He managed to open his eyes enough to give me a half-hearted glare when I laughed at him.

"Come on, baby. I'll dry you off and put you to bed." The important thing was that he had returned.

He didn't protest, and as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was out cold, snoring softly.

I wondered which had exhausted him more – the job or the flight home. I felt bad that he had to make all those connections, but I was so glad to have him back in our bed.

He'd left his suit lying on the floor, and I picked it up. I'd just make sure the pockets were empty,

I half expected to find the colorful paper money of Mexico or Canada. Huntingdon was an international corporation, I'd learned, with branches and subsidiaries throughout the world. Wills had told me, the time I'd found Loonies and Twonies in his pockets, that he'd been called to Canada – someone had opened an email and downloaded the attachment, a particularly annoying worm that had crashed the system, and he'd been required to clean up the mess. Another time something had come up in Mexico, and he'd had pesos in his pockets when he'd come home. I'd folded the bills and put them in a box where I kept the other currency I'd found in his pockets at various times.

Tonight there was only a handkerchief, his wallet, and an odd-looking pocketknife.

I set the suit aside to go to the cleaners in the morning, then stripped off my clothes and got in bed beside him.

"Love you, Theo," he mumbled as I arranged myself along his back.

I kissed the corner of his jaw. "Me too."

****

'Twas the week before Christmas – Okay, not funny, I told myself, but I was a wreck, trying to think of ways to keep my lover out of the living room. I'd positioned the tree to block most of the view from the doorway, but if he walked even three steps into the room…

I called Vincent again.

"What is it this time, Theo?" He sounded cheerful though. There had been a couple of weeks during the late fall when the few times I'd run into him, he'd been terse, and if he hadn't been Mark Vincent, I would have said almost stressed. 'A friend's mother was in a car accident, but she's doing better now,' he'd told me when I asked him about it. His expression told me he'd prefer to have the matter dropped, so I'd dropped it.

"Any way you can have Wills working some extra hours on the weekend?" I was able to keep him distracted enough during the week, when he came home fairly late, but the weekend… forty-eight hours, and as much as I'd like, we couldn't spend all of them in bed.

"Y'know, if I didn't know better, I'd swear you were looking for reasons to keep him out of the house so you could cheat on him."

"Vince! I'd never… Oh, geez, do you think Wills might think the same thing?"

"No. I was teasing you, Theo. Don't have a cow, for chrissake. As it turns out, Matheson is on the schedule to work this weekend anyway."

That was a relief. "Cool. Listen, Vince. Since I've got you on the phone… I hate having to go to Wills' boss." I grinned to myself. Good thing his boss was my friend. "Can he have off Christmas and New Year's Day? January 1^st is… "

"Your birthday. Yeah, I'm aware. I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks. By the way, how was your Thanksgiving?" I'd invited him over, since by that time he'd moved into his condo in Aspen Reach, but he'd declined because he was having company, kind of a house warming/holiday celebration combination.

"Good. It was… good."

And I could tell from the tone of his voice that surprised him.

"I'm glad to hear that. If you want to come over for Christmas… "

"No, that's okay. I've got plans."

"Okay. Well, if they fall through… "

"I'll keep that in mind. Is there anything else? Because some of us do have to work, y'know."

"Right. Thanks again, Vince. Bye."

"Yeah. Bye."

Finally it was Christmas Eve. Wills left for work, and I started cleaning the house. By the time I was done, had bayberry, cinnamon, and pine-scented candles in crystal candleholders throughout the house, and had all the presents I was giving Wills – plus a few from Santa – under the tree and his stocking hanging filled from the mantle, I was too wiped to be in the mood to cook dinner.

I called The Pizza Place. "I'd like to place an order to go. Two large pizzas, scallops and bacon in cream sauce, and bacon and pineapple."