The Light in Your Eyes

By Tinnean

Chapter 27

We woke to the sound of scratching at the bedroom door. "Miss Su doesn't usually do that," Wills mumbled. He stretched, undulating his body beneath me.

I raised my head, peered at the clock, and blinked. "It's 6 already?"

"AM or PM?"

I squinted at the small lettering and said, "PM. Miss Su must be starved!"

"Poor kitty."

"Are you going to feed her?"

"No."

"Mind if I ask why not?"

"Two reasons. Number one, she's your kitten."

"Oh, really?! I seem to remember you wrestling with me to see who got to cuddle her. And that reminds me… " He started laughing. "What?"

"That was just an excuse to get my hands on you." He palmed my ass cheek.

"Yeah? Cool. But don't think you can distract me. I have a bone to pick with you."

"Do you?" His smile was so innocent that I knew he was up to something. He slid his hand between us and squeezed my cock. "This bone?"

My hips jerked, driving my cock forward into his grip, and I groaned and dropped my forehead to his. "No!" I nipped his nose. "Not gonna work, hot shot. I had to take her to the vet alone."

"You took her to the vet? What was wrong?"

"To get her spayed, Matheson!"

"Oh. I was away for that, wasn't I?"

I cuffed his shoulder. "Yes, you were. I had to do it all by myself."

"But she came through it okay, didn't she?"

"She came through it fine, but you owe me big time for that. The experience has left me scarred and traumatized for life." His torso shook as he laughed, rocking me, and I cuffed him again. "I'm not kidding! If we had a kid, and our kid had to have his tonsils or appendix out, I'd be a basket case!"

He hugged me. "We'd make such a beautiful little boy." He sighed. "Well, we'll have all of my cousins' kids to fuss over, as well as nieces and nephews eventually."

"We… we could always adopt," I offered, "and as I mentioned to your Dad, there's in vitro fertilization also."

"I guess." He looked thoughtful, but I didn't want to talk about kids just yet. There was plenty of time before we got serious about children.

"So what's number two?"

"Hmmm?" A mischievous grin curled his lips. "Babe, if you don't know… "

"Don't push your luck, Matheson." I reached down and pinched his ass.

"Hey!"

"You know what I mean."

"Oh, the second reason why I won't feed Miss Su? I can't. You're on top of me." I was about to roll off, but his grip tightened. "Not that I'm complaining!"

A muffled 'mrrow' came from the other side of the door. "Someone is. I'd better go feed her. But don't you go anywhere. I'll be right back."

Miss Su trotted after me into the kitchen. After popping the lid on a can of Fancy Feast and spooning it into her bowl, I poked around in the pantry and the fridge and frowned. Not that they were bare, but I didn't really feel like cooking.

I went back to the bedroom. "Babe, how about if I make reservations at Raphael's? Mount Olympus is open late on Fridays. We can shop for our rings, and then go there for… " I stopped short. Wills wasn't lounging in bed. "Babe?"

"I'm in the bathroom."

"Are you decent? I hope not." Grinning to myself, I strolled in, to come to an abrupt halt.

He was dressed in slacks and a tailored shirt, wearing his shoulder harness, and running his electric razor over his cheeks and chin. "I just got a call from Mr. Vincent."

"I didn't hear the phone ring."

He shrugged. "I have to meet him at work."

Shit. "Okay. Give me a couple of minutes to shower. I'm coming with you." Vince would have to tell me to my face that Wills had to give me up.

It took me about five minutes. By the time I was dried off and dressed, he was gone.

I ran down the stairs to the front door and threw it open. "Son of a bitch." The Dodge was gone as well.

Well, I'd driven Wills to work once, and I knew where Huntingdon was located.

Back up to the apartment, where I grabbed my jacket and car keys, and down again to the garage. I backed the Corvair out, scraping the driver's side against the fence to the left of the driveway, something I hadn't done in years, leaving behind a streak of taxicab yellow paint – "Son of a bitch!" – and headed out after him.

It was rush hour, and on top of that I got stuck at almost every single traffic light. At each of them I worried my fingernails. While I waited at the last light before the turn into Huntingdon's parking facility, I tore the cuticle from my thumbnail and had to suck the blood away.

"Son of a goddammed fucking bitch!" The only parking spots I could find that weren't handicapped were a good five minute hike from the building. I turned off the ignition, got out and slapped the lock, slammed the door shut, then had to open it again because I'd left the lights on. Swearing under my breath, in Greek, I stuffed the key into my back pocket and began walking.

A series of glass doors faced me, not a single revolving door in the lot. It looked kind of anonymous, nothing above the doors announcing the address or the name of the building. This was probably the employees' entrance.

The door I approached slid open with a subdued 'shhht,' then slid closed behind me with the same sound, and I stood gazing around the lobby. A bank of elevators, but no obvious doors, no seating arrangements, no greenery to brighten the area. Fluorescent lights lined the ceiling, although during the day the glass doors would let in so much light they wouldn't really be necessary. There was no directory listing departments and the people who worked in them. Wills had never mentioned what floor he worked on, and I realized I had no idea where to start looking for him or for Vincent's office.

"Can I help you?"

I jumped and turned to face a stocky black man with salt and pepper hair, dressed in a maroon blazer and gray slacks. A slight bulge under his arm hinted at a gun in a shoulder holster.

Wills' suit jackets, in spite of how nothing special they appeared, never revealed the fact that he often carried a gun.

"I'm looking for Mark Vincent's office."

"And you are?"

"Theo Bascopolis."

"Wait one second, please." He went to his station, off in a corner which was why I hadn't noticed it, and picked up a sheaf of papers. After flipping through them, he looked up at me. "I'm sorry. Your name isn't on the list."

List? "Uh… could you call his office and ask him to see me? I know he's here; he's supposed to see one of the men who works under him."

He raised an eyebrow. "It's not a smart idea to disturb Mr. Vincent; he doesn't like it."

"Please? I'm a friend of his."

He looked a little surprised. "Mr. Vincent has friends?" He cleared his throat. "Yes, right, just a second." He took a phone from his belt and pressed a series of numbers. "You said your name is Bascopolis?"

"Yes."

"Mr. Vincent. This is Sanford. Sorry to bother you, sir. I have someone down here who wants to see you. No, I know that, sir, but he says he's a friend of yours. Bascopolis, sir." There was a brief pause. "Yes, sir. I'll send him up." He disconnected the call and placed the phone on his desk. "I'll have to search you."

"For?"

"Listening devices, recording devices, weapons." He looked bored. "You understand."

"Uh… okay." I held my arms out, and he patted me down – efficient, thorough, and impersonal, even when his hand ran up my inner thigh.

He picked up his phone and punched in another number. "Choe, I'm sending someone up for Mr. Vincent. Yes. Bascopolis. Okay, thanks." He hung up and nodded at me. "Take that second elevator to the right. Mr. Vincent is on 7. Security will meet you and take you to his office."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, sir."

The elevator doors opened almost as soon as I touched the button, and I stepped inside and pushed 7. The elevator smoothly began its upward journey.

I worried the cuticle of my other thumb. Would Wills be pissed that I'd followed him? Would Vince be pissed at Wills because I'd turned up here?

There was a 'ding,' the elevator settled to a stop, and a second later the door slid open. Waiting there was a man whose Asian heritage was obvious in the shape of his eyes. He was wearing a blazer and slacks similar to Sanford's.

"You are Mr. Bascopolis?

"Yes."

He gestured for me to stand to the side. "I must check you for weapons."

"Sanford already did."

He shrugged and set about frisking me anyway, and I sighed and stood there with my arms extended. Talk about a paranoid company.

While he did that, two men wearing suits very similar to the ones my lover wore approached the elevator. I recognized one as Howard, whose picture I'd seen in the company newsletter and who'd greeted Wills at the Bee's Knees on Valentine's Day.

"You're not a senior agent," his companion sneered at him. "What do you know about it?"

"I may be junior to you, Browne, but I know you're gonna lose this one." Howard's eyes narrowed as he saw the security man and me and realized we must have overheard his words.

Browne, on the other hand, couldn't have cared less and dismissed us with barely a glance. "Max is French; he wasn't born yesterday, and he knows which way the wind blows." He jabbed the elevator button repeatedly, his irritation evident, and tapped his foot, waiting for the door to open. I couldn't help noticing his pinky finger was missing, and I looked away. "Besides, what's it to you?"

"He's a decent guy. I'm telling you… "

"Yeah. Like you and the bean counter are doing so well."

"He's not a bean counter, but yeah, Alex and I are okay."

"Right," Browne scoffed. "That's why he was on his knees under his boss' desk."

"Fuck you." The elevator arrived and they entered it. "You're gonna lose him." Howard glanced at the security man, and the grim expression in his eyes lightened a bit. "You stay like that, Choe, he'd gonna expect at least dinner."

Intrigued by their conversation, I hadn't been paying much attention to the security man. Apparently just as intrigued, he'd neglected to remove his hand from between my legs.

He turned a dull red, "Sorry," and finished frisking me.

"Max has every right to expect… " The doors closed on the rest of their conversation.

Satisfied that somehow I hadn't managed to secure contraband between the 1st and 7^th floors, Choe led me down a long corridor to a door which looked no different from any other. He opened it and gestured for me to enter.

"This is Mr. Bascopolis, Ms. Parker."

"Thank you, Choe." Vince's secretary – I'd had no idea he had a secretary, but if Wills had one, it made sense that Vince would too – glanced at me with discreet interest, and rose to her feet. "If you'll come this way, Mr. Bascopolis?" She tapped on the inner door and opened it without waiting for a response. "Mr. Bascopolis, sir." She stood aside to let me enter.

"Thank you, Ms. Parker. You can leave for the day." Vincent lounged against his desk, his shirt sleeves rolled up and his arms folded across his chest.

"Yes, sir."

"Tell Ms. DiNois she can leave also, would you please?" Wills, his back stiff with tension, stood looking out the wall of windows. The view wasn't bad if you liked looking at the windows of the building across the street.

"Yes, sir. Have a good weekend, Mr. Vincent, Mr. Matheson." She closed the door behind her.

No one spoke. I used the excuse of looking around to give myself some time to gather my thoughts. There was a potted plant in one corner and a framed movie poster on a wall with the words, 'Who is Keyser Soze?' beneath the semicircle of men who stood in poses running the gamut from indifferent to mocking to tense. Other than the L shaped desk and a couple of chairs, the only furniture in the room was a low stand with a TV/VCR combo sitting on it.

"Uh… nice office, Vince."

"Yeah. Matheson, rewind the tape and play it for Theo."

"Sir… " Wills finally turned around. His lips were folded in a thin, white line and his face was pale, but his eyes – I'd never seen that expression in them before, a combination of pain and fury and despair.

"I said rewind it."

"Yes, sir." His hands clenched, and he walked stiffly to the TV and crouched before it.

"Wills?"

He didn't look at me, and my gut churned and my heart began to thud painfully. The silence was broken by the whirring sound of the tape rewinding, and then the harsh click as it stopped.

Vincent placed one of the chairs in front of the television. "You'd better sit down."

Reluctantly, I perched on the edge of the chair. "What… " I swallowed hard. "What am I going to see?"

Wills pressed the play button.

The camera was focused on the two figures on the bed, but I didn't need it to zoom in on the boy and the man to recognize that it was me and Franky, in the shabby house he had brought me to the night Poppa had thrown me out.

"Oh, jesus." My insides felt as if they were encased in ice as I watched Franky fuck my ass and then my mouth. Wills had watched this, was watching this again. That explained the expression on his face.

I bit back a moan. This couldn't get any worse.

But then it did.

'That's right,' Franky said, and I cringed at the coarse excitement in his tone. 'Fuck yourself on my cock. Jerk yourself off. Use both hands.'

'I'll… I'll lose my balance.'

'I won't let you fall.' How had he gotten the angle so the viewer could see him inserting one finger after another into my hole, stuffing me? I shivered as I remembered how it had been, the build up of the pressure until I'd been sure he was going to tear me apart. 'Want more, Sweetcheeks?'

My fifteen year old self choked out, 'Yes.' It sounded breathless, excited, but the camera didn't show the tears running down my cheeks.

'A little more of this, and I could fist you! I bet you'll even be able to take two cocks in this sweet ass of yours.'

Wills made a sound, and I buried my face in my hands. "No more. Please. Turn it off."

"Is that you?"

"Why, Vince?" Mark Vincent had never struck me as being intentionally cruel. "Why make me watch this?"

"Because I needed to be sure it was you."

"It's me." I couldn't remember ever feeling such despair. Vincent wouldn't have to tell Wills it was me or his job. After seeing this tape, Wills would have no problem walking out of my life. I rose to face Vincent, nearly causing the chair to tip over. "How did you get this?" Not that it mattered. Nothing mattered any more.

"Long story. Suffice it to say that it came into my possession a few hours ago. Are there any more copies?"

"I don't know. I thought this one had been destroyed. He promised me… " Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why had I believed that promise?

"Oh, baby." A pair of arms came around me and pulled me into a tight embrace. "I let him die too easy." There was cold steel in Wills' voice.

"Yeah," Vincent agreed. "You should have left it to me."

"What?"

"Where do we go from here?" But Wills wasn't talking to me.

"I'll have a little chat with Davies. He was so anxious to see I got this." Vincent's voice was colder than Wills', and deadly. "This is the second time he's interfered with my department. It's going to be the last."

"He's senior… "

"Are you doubting my abilities, Matheson?"

"No, sir."

"Good." He went around his desk and opened a bottom drawer. "You look like you could use a drink, Theo." He placed a bottle of whiskey and a glass on his desk, then poured about four fingers into the glass and handed it to me.

"You're not mad at me, Wills?"

"What for?" He took a handkerchief from his pocket and dried my cheeks.

"That video… " My hand shook so badly I nearly dropped the glass, and he closed his hand around mine and helped bring it to my lips.

"Not your fault, babe."

The alcohol burned going down, and I coughed a little, but once it hit my stomach, warmth began to spread through my body. Another couple of gulps, and I finished it. I started to feel a little weird, and carefully I put the glass down on the desk.

"What did you mean, 'you let him die too easy?'"

He sighed, but before he could answer, Vincent asked, "Why'd you come here, Theo?"

"I was going to fight for him."

"Excuse me?"

"I thought you were going to tell Wills he had to break up with me." I swayed back and forth, and Wills pushed me back down into the chair.

"Why would I do that?"

"Said you din't… didn't need your boy in a state like he was in 'cause he was worried about me."

"Ah. When I talked to you yesterday." He blew out a breath and shook his head. "Civilians. That wasn't what I meant."

"Well, how was I s'posed to know that?" He gave me a look, and I blinked a couple of times and shook my head. Since when had he grown another pair of eyes? "Wha' did ya mean, Vince?"

"Are you drunk, Theo?"

"No." I blinked again. "I don't think so."

"I think he is, sir. He hasn't had anything to eat since last evening."

"Yes, I did. I went down on you, don't you remember?" A little voice in the back of my mind told me I was talking too much, but in the warm haze of alcohol it was very faint and easy to ignore. "And when you come, I always swallow," I concluded triumphantly.

Wills turned red. "Uh… "

"No explanations, Matheson. Take him home, sober him up, and then tell him what it is you do for a living and why, when you're working, you can't afford to have anything on your mind but the job."

"Yes, sir."

"Not leavin' me, Wills?" My lips suddenly felt like blocks of wood, and it wasn't easy to enunciate.

"No, babe. I'll never leave you."

"Glad. Kill me if y' did. Gettin' married." I planted a wet kiss on his cheek, then squinted at Vince. "You come."

"I'm not about to tell you it wouldn't be legal."

"Don't care. Gonna get married."

"Yeah, yeah. Matheson, get him out of here."

"Yes, sir. Come on, Theo."

"Carry me?" I looped my arms around his neck, hopped up, and he caught me. I rested my head against his shoulder and batted my lashes at him. "My hero."

"I think you'd better walk, babe."

"Have to? Like it where I am."

"Yeah, you have to. I can't carry you down seven flights of stairs."

"Okay." I wobbled a bit after he set me on my feet.

"Take the elevator." Vince had rolled down his sleeves and was putting on his suit jacket.

"Yes, sir."

"Have 'nother drink, Vince? One f' the road?"

"I don't think so. Go on home. Matheson?"

"Yes, sir?"

"See to it that I get an invitation."

"Yes, sir." He sounded happy, and he slid an arm around my waist and urged me toward the door.

"Vince's my frien'. He should come."

"Sure. Let's go, babe."

Two security guards sat at the desk across from the elevators. "Need some help, Mr. Matheson?"

"No thanks, Choe. I've got him."

"Yep, you've got me," I said as we got in the elevator and it started down.

"I do, don't I?" I felt his lips in my hair. "Did you come in the Corvair, Theo?"

"Huh?" I had to give that a little thought. "No. Never had sex in the Corvair. Had sex in the Dodge, but not the Corvair."

"How did you get here?"

"Took the Corvair." My lover choked on his laughter. "Like when you laugh." I nuzzled his throat.

"I like when you laugh too, Theo." The elevator stopped. "Okay, we're on the first floor. I don't want you tripping over the plate as we get out. Big step."

"Need some help, Mr. Matheson?"

"Why's everyone askin' 'f you need help?"

"I can't imagine. No, we're fine, Sanford. I'm driving Mr. Bascopolis home. See to it that his car doesn't get towed? It's a yellow Corvair. Where's it parked, Theo?"

"Hell 'n' gone," I mumbled, suddenly fascinated by the bulge under his arm. I reached into his jacket to touch it. "Why you wearin' a gun, babe?"

"I'll explain when we get home, okay?" He gave Sanford my car's plate number. "I'll come pick it up sometime this weekend."

"Very good, sir."

"Was he laughin'?" I tried to turn as Wills urged me toward the door. "'re you laughin'?"

"Come on, Theo. We have to go home."

"Why? Wanna know why he's laughin'."

"He must have thought of something funny. Now let's go. Miss Su needs to get fed."

"Oh. Okay. Want me t' drive?"

"No, that's okay."

"'s right. No one drives the Dodge but you."

"Right." Wills got me into the passenger seat and buckled me up.

"Wait a min'te." I grabbed his tie and tugged on it. "A'ready fed Miss Su."

"We'll find something else to do." He freed his tie and cupped my cheek. "Watch your hands. You don't want to get them caught in the door."

"Nope." I folded my hands on my lap, and after he straightened and shut the door, I put my head back against the head rest and was out like a light.

The next thing I knew, something hard was pressing into my gut. I opened my eyes, looking down toward the floor and Wills' legs, and realized that somehow I was upside down. His palm was on my ass, holding me steady.

"Wha… " The ground looped-the-loop, and I quickly closed my eyes.

"Don't wiggle around. You'll make me drop you." Wills was a little out of breath by the time he reached our apartment. He fumbled for the key, let us in, and got us to the bedroom, where he eased me down onto the bed. "No, you don't!" when I would have tipped over. "Stay put."

I heard the water run in the bathroom, and then he was back.

"Okay, I've got a couple of Tylenol for you. Big 'ah'."

I opened wide and swallowed the pills once they were in my mouth.

"Now drink this." He held the glass to my mouth, and I swallowed obediently. "No, finish the whole thing. Trust me, you'll thank me later."

After the last swallow, he took the glass away, and I collapsed back on the bed. Vaguely I felt his hands on me, unbuttoning my shirt, wrestling me one way and another to get it off, then undoing my pants.

"Gonna fuck me?" I mumbled.

"Later, babe."

"Want you to fuck me now." I wrapped my fists in his shirt. I should have been ashamed of the pouty tone in my voice, but I was too aggrieved that he wouldn't give me what I wanted when I wanted it.

"Okay. Just give me time to get out of my clothes."

"'kay." Naked Wills was a good thing. "Hurry."

"Sure, Theo. You just lie there and relax. I'll be in bed with you before you know it."

"Good. Want you." I opened my eyes and looked into his face. "Love you, Wills."

"Oh, babe. I… "

But I fell asleep before I could hear the rest of his words.

****

Sleep started to recede. I tried to entice it back, and groaned when I couldn't. Memories of the last few hours returned with a vengeance, the drive to Huntingdon, the videotape, the glass of whiskey. I didn't bother opening my eyes. I didn't get drunk often, but when I did… I knew what I was going to face. My head pounding, ready to roll off my shoulders and spin around on the floor, my stomach taking bets as to whether it would stay put or spew in an eruption that would rival Vesuvius, and this time, my ass aching, having been fucked thoroughly and without a condom for the first time in almost thirteen years. That was the one that pissed me off the most – that I'd been out cold and unable to enjoy it.

A soft kiss brushed my forehead. "What's wrong, babe?"

I peeled open an eyelid. "You ask me what's wrong? Fine fiancé you are! What the fuck do you think is wrong?"

"I don't know." Another kiss, this one on the hinge of my jaw.

"And don't kiss me. I must have the world's worst case of morning breath."

"Love means never complaining about things like that."

"Asshole."

"Now tell me what's got your shorts in a twist."

"My head hurts, my stomach's upset, my ass hurts… "

"Are you sure?"

"Course I'm… " I paused and stopped to take stock of my aches and pains. My head… No, not the slightest ache. My stomach… steady as the rock of Gibraltar. My ass… Not a twinge there either. "Huh?"

"Don't you remember? I gave you a couple of Tylenol when we got home and made you drink a glass of water. Dad always said that would help with a hangover."

"Yeah, I remember that, but what about my ass?"

"What about your ass, Theo? Did you really think I'd have you for the first time while you were unconscious? That's too much like rape for my taste. I'd never do that to you."

"Then last night… we didn't?"

"No. But once you're feeling better," he pinched my chin, "we are gonna have such a good time!"

I nuzzled against him. "Thank you for taking care of me."

"That's my job." He wrapped his arms around me. "I love you, Theo."

"I love you too. And what about your job?"

He sighed and let me go. "Here. You'd better have some coffee."

"It's that bad? Okay, what do you do? Are you an ambulance chaser? A quack? A used car salesman. If you tell me you're a politician, we're breaking up!" He looked amused and shook his head for each one. "Okay, how about a centerfold for Playgirl?" He snorted the coffee he was drinking out of his nose. "Well, I think you'd make a damn fine centerfold." I looked at him thoughtfully. "Would you consider posing?"

He mopped the coffee off his mouth and chin. "Only for you, babe."

But that reminded me of the video we'd watched, and I turned my face away.

"Theo, what's wrong?"

"How can you love me after what I did?"

"Put a hole in the wall and run away, you mean?"

I shook my head, unable to meet his eyes. "You saw that video." What Franky did to me on tape, what I'd let him do to me… My stomach churned, and I wanted to throw up the few sips of coffee I'd had.

"It broke my heart, Theo. You were so young, and for that bastard to take advantage of you like that, to hurt you… " His voice was stone cold, and I shivered. "He deserved to die harder than he did."

"How did he die? You told me Haskell took care of him."

"Not Haskell." Wills got to his feet. He was pale. "I lied to you."

"Then who… You? You took care of him?"

"Yes."

"What did you do?"

"You don't want to know, Theo." He was looking grim, and I decided that maybe he was right and I really didn't want to know.

"Suppose you tell me what it is you do for a living." He was silent. "Obviously you're not a troubleshooter."

"I am. I just don't troubleshoot computers. Well, not all the time."

I supposed I'd known that on a subconscious level. The gun, the foreign currency I'd sometimes found in his pockets, the times I was unable to reach him, even by cell phone. I'd been so used to not questioning whoever was in my bed, but it wasn't only that. I wanted him to be a geek, wanted to be the sophisticate to his innocent.

An ominous thought struck me, and I shivered again. "You're a… " I thought of the morning after our very first time together when, being silly, or so I'd thought, I referred to him in my mind as an agent. Now it was turning out I hadn't been as silly as I'd thought. "… a spook. That's why you didn't wear the chain when you left for that last job, isn't it? It could have endangered you in some way."

"No. Yes." He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not CIA, Theo. I work for the WBIS, the Washington Bureau of Intelligence and Security."

"I've never heard of them."

"No one in the general public has. Most agencies in DC haven't either."

"Why?"

"We do the jobs no one else wants or no one else can handle."

"You're a… a wet boy?" I'd had some FBI agents as clients, and even one or two men who worked for the NSA. I knew the kinds of jobs those agencies handled. For the WBIS – for Wills – to be dealing with the ones they couldn't… I didn't want to ask what they entailed.

"That's not my job title, although some of us have been called that."

"You've killed people?"

"Some."

"Did you… did you enjoy it?"

A flare of wild hurt cross his face. "It's my job."

I braced myself, waiting for him to remind me what my job had been and to ask if I'd enjoyed what I'd done, but he didn't. His mouth tightened, and he turned away, and I remembered the times he'd come home from out of town, to fall into an exhausted sleep that was plagued by nightmares. No, he hadn't enjoyed it.

"I'm sorry, Wills. How… " I cleared my throat and swallowed. "How long have you been doing this?"

"For five years. When I found out what I'd be required to do, I wasn't sure at first if I could."

"What made you change your mind?"

"My… my trainer. He told me my country's existence was on the line, and she needed people who would go the distance for her." He met my eyes. "I'll tell you the truth, Theo. Those bastards on Capital Hill can go fuck themselves as far as I'm concerned, as far as most of us in the WBIS are concerned. But my country, and by extension my family?" He shrugged. "So I learned to do the job and not puke up my guts every time I had to clean up after someone else. It's something to be proud of, Mr. Adams told me. Only a very small number of men are recruited, and of them, the majority wash out. The ones who don't but who can't do what I do… Michael was one of those. They stay at headquarters and analyze data or… do other things."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't. No one knows, Theo, not even my family, and I have to ask that you keep this to yourself. The less they know, the safer it is for them."

"But you're telling me now."

He nodded. "I love my country, Theo, and I'm good at what I do – oh, not as good as Mr. Vincent, he's the best – but I wouldn't trade what we have for anything, and I told you, if it ever came to a choice, I'd resign before I gave you up."

"I can't believe how stupid I was, never questioning… "

"Not stupid, Theo. It's part of my job, to look innocuous, unremarkable, forgettable."

"Were you ever going to tell me what you did?"

"Yes. Once you'd agreed to marry me, I never would have kept it a secret. I intended to talk to Mr. Vincent about it on Monday, but then he called me in yesterday."

"Yesterday?"

"It's Saturday, babe." He looked down, fiddled with the seam of his jeans. "Does… does this make a difference about how you feel about me?"

"I don't know. I never… " I got out of bed and got dressed. "That scar on your back. Not from a car accident, I presume?"

"No."

It was a dangerous world out there, and… "I have to get some air."

"Sure. I understand. I was afraid… " The bleakness in his tone shook me. It matched the bleakness in his eyes.

"You're gonna be here when I get back, aren't you?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes, it matters, goddammit! The last thing I need is you cutting and running… " I wanted to cringe. That was what I had done all my life. First with Poppa, then after I thought I'd killed Franky, and finally when I thought Wills had betrayed me. I waited for him to throw my cowardice in my face.

Instead, he said, "I'll be here, Theo."

"Fuck it." There was no point in me going anywhere to think about anything. This was where I needed to be. Whatever he did, whatever he was, William Matheson was the only man I'd ever love. I went to him and took him in my arms. "I love you, and I can't live without you – I won't want to live without you – so just promise me one thing." I held on to him, stroking his back, absorbing the tremors that ran through him while he did the same to me. "Stay safe for me, Wills. Promise me you'll stay safe."

"I promise, Theo."

"I love you, Wills. For as long as I live, I'll love you."

"Oh, babe." His arms tightened painfully. He knew as well as I there were no guarantees in life. In spite of his promise, he could be killed on the job, but just as easily, I could be killed crossing the street.

Or we could both live to be a hundred.

~End~

A.N. Well, perhaps not quite the end. There will be an epilogue. J